The commonalities of autistic adults

I've been reading the replies to my thread about why I never knew I was autistic and was a little surprised at how many things in common we had, some of which are not always linked with autism. Also I'm currently reading a book called "untypical" by Pete Wharmby, in which he details his experiences of being autistic by different criteria, such as friends, school, hobbies, the workplace, etc and noticed some things there that I relate to but which are not often realised may be traits of autism.

I also think that the explanations of what autism is are sometimes a bit vague and not particularly easy for us to understand e.g. Problems with social communication (what exactly does that mean?) Problems with social interaction (who doesn't have those?) Repetitive & restrictive behaviours (everyone has routines and habits?) Highly focused interests or hobbies (um, like football or celebrities?)

Some things, like stimming, seem to be a thing that makes some people identify that a person is autistic, but we don't all do that. I wanted to try to put together simple to understand, relatable examples of each criteria, (and adding a couple of my own) that may be common to us all. So please tell me if you have also experienced all of the situations below, or if any of them do not apply to you:


Social communication examples:

- Replying to "How was your weekend?" with a lengthy monologue of what you did,, then noticing that the other person's face has gone blank and they don't appear interested.

- Rehearsing what you are going to say in your head, or writing it down to help you remember.

- Hating phones / preferring to send emails


Social interaction examples:

- "Catching" the emotions of others and often feeling overwhelmed by it.

- Being bullied, teased or made fun of, or feeling you have been misunderstood

- Not having your ideas listened to


Repetitive and restrictive behaviour examples:

- Feeling extremely stressed if you are in the middle of a task and are suddenly told you must do something else - now!

- Cannot "hot desk"


Sensory under or over sensitivity examples:

- Hearing sounds others don't notice, like the ticking of a clock or the hum of a machine

- Over sensitivity to heat or cold (may make you feel unwell or register as pain)


Highly focused interests or hobbies examples:

- Obsession about a hobby or topic;  thinking about it when you should be doing something else

- When absorbed in your hobby, losing track of time or of physical needs (thirst, hunger, tiredness etc)


Extreme anxiety examples:

- Feeling highly anxious in a "normal" situation, such as a supermarket checkout queue.

- Gastro-intestinal issues


Meltdowns and shutdowns examples:

- Loss of emotional control, leading to anger or crying

- Loss of the ability to speak, function or even think properly


Learning differences examples:

- Difficulty in catching a ball / tying laces, clumsy (possibly gross motor skills dyspraxia)

- Hyperlexia (advanced reading skills) or dyslexia

Parents
  • I relate to almost all of them. I had horrible meltdowns as a kid and teenager but I managed that by avoiding the trigger and soothing myself with stimming. Now if overwhelmed I either cry or get panic attack (since my late teens) and it’s exhausting. I was never hyperlexic, rather dyslexic. Sometimes I have shutdowns but I avoid them by giving myself time alone. I’ve never been overwhelmed by someone else’s emotions, but I often am by my own. If they are too strong or too many. This way it happened to me quite many times to be overwhelmed and get some sort of panic attack in intimate situations. Embarrassing… I’m not sure if it’s related to my emotions or partner being too fast and passionate. Maybe both factors. Maybe there is also some trauma in addition. I’m clumsy and I always was. I have accidents with furniture and door frames on my way. When it comes to sounds, yes I hear the light, I hear clocks, fridge, I hear bicycle passing on other side of a busy street or rustle of a plastic bag more than 10 meters away. When I walk in the city my head spins everywhere around and I catch everything. I also catch car plates and names on the doorbells and other pieces of irrelevant information. And smells. I’m literally attacked by it. I only realised that this is “not normal” when I saw video simulations “walking with Asperger” etc. then I said “but it’s me! But it’s how I perceive the world!” At school I often felt distracted by a fly or awful scratch of the chalk against the board. On the other hand when I’m super focused on something, like music or book that is captivating, or some task that I enjoy and must finish- you can call me. I will not react. And I merely register anything. 

Reply
  • I relate to almost all of them. I had horrible meltdowns as a kid and teenager but I managed that by avoiding the trigger and soothing myself with stimming. Now if overwhelmed I either cry or get panic attack (since my late teens) and it’s exhausting. I was never hyperlexic, rather dyslexic. Sometimes I have shutdowns but I avoid them by giving myself time alone. I’ve never been overwhelmed by someone else’s emotions, but I often am by my own. If they are too strong or too many. This way it happened to me quite many times to be overwhelmed and get some sort of panic attack in intimate situations. Embarrassing… I’m not sure if it’s related to my emotions or partner being too fast and passionate. Maybe both factors. Maybe there is also some trauma in addition. I’m clumsy and I always was. I have accidents with furniture and door frames on my way. When it comes to sounds, yes I hear the light, I hear clocks, fridge, I hear bicycle passing on other side of a busy street or rustle of a plastic bag more than 10 meters away. When I walk in the city my head spins everywhere around and I catch everything. I also catch car plates and names on the doorbells and other pieces of irrelevant information. And smells. I’m literally attacked by it. I only realised that this is “not normal” when I saw video simulations “walking with Asperger” etc. then I said “but it’s me! But it’s how I perceive the world!” At school I often felt distracted by a fly or awful scratch of the chalk against the board. On the other hand when I’m super focused on something, like music or book that is captivating, or some task that I enjoy and must finish- you can call me. I will not react. And I merely register anything. 

Children
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