Joining the Army

Hey guys.

I just want to say sorry about my post last night. I was feeling low and I think the depression and anxiety went in to overdrive and was doing most of the talking here. I feel in some ways I would be capable but mostly not... I struggle big time with both the autism and my depression and anxiety. 

I wouldn't ever try to have my autism removed, I like that I'm autistic, I could do without the anxiety and meltdowns but my autism allows me to enjoy my special interests and obsess over classic cars.

It makes me different but it's something I've always tried to embrace in myself. Some people have wanted me to change but I try to distance myself from people like that. 

I would absolutely love to work in the Army. My brother did it for a long time and I feel so inspired by what they do, it makes a huge difference to others lives and I would love to be doing that too.

Currently I'm at home all the time, often too anxious and depressed to go out. I take my car out from time to time but usually I'm too anxious to get out of it in a car park or outside the shops. I'll usually have a meltdown in a busy and noisy environment, I guess why I would be terrible in the Army.

It's sad though and adds to the depression because here I am with a working mind. I like to think I'm a good friendly person but most people never want to know me so I have no friends and am fairly isolated. I spend a lot of time doing writing and listening to music, working on my Senator. I've got a real passion and deep interest in classic cars. 

I feel like I'm existing without really living. I have three sisters, two are younger than me and they are all happily married, have children and have moved out and are working. I'm not even close to any of that and I feel saddened that I can't seem to accomplish it. 

I've tried working three times before and each time it was disastrous. I had meltdowns and panic attacks and it cost me the job each time. 

Sorry for the long message guys. I wanted to explain myself, and my situation. I hope I didn't come across as rude and arrogant last night. If I did please accept my apologies, I'm not like that.

I'm just trying to make sense of my life as currently it's not really going anywhere.

I'll try to interact around the forum more today. 

Thank you for all of your replies and for your input here.

Hey guys.

I just want to say sorry about my post last night. I was feeling low and I think the depression and anxiety went in to overdrive and was doing most of the talking here. I feel in some ways I would be capable but mostly not... I struggle big time with both the autism and my depression and anxiety. 

I wouldn't ever try to have my autism removed, I like that I'm autistic, I could do without the anxiety and meltdowns but my autism allows me to enjoy my special interests and obsess over classic cars.

It makes me different but it's something I've always tried to embrace in myself. Some people have wanted me to change but I try to distance myself from people like that. 

I would absolutely love to work in the Army. My brother did it for a long time and I feel so inspired by what they do, it makes a huge difference to others lives and I would love to be doing that too.

Currently I'm at home all the time, often too anxious and depressed to go out. I take my car out from time to time but usually I'm too anxious to get out of it in a car park or outside the shops. I'll usually have a meltdown in a busy and noisy environment, I guess why I would be terrible in the Army.

It's sad though and adds to the depression because here I am with a working mind. I like to think I'm a good friendly person but most people never want to know me so I have no friends and am fairly isolated. I spend a lot of time doing writing and listening to music, working on my Senator. I've got a real passion and deep interest in classic cars. 

I feel like I'm existing without really living. I have three sisters, two are younger than me and they are all happily married, have children and have moved out and are working. I'm not even close to any of that and I feel saddened that I can't seem to accomplish it. 

I've tried working three times before and each time it was disastrous. I had meltdowns and panic attacks and it cost me the job each time. 

Sorry for the long message guys. I wanted to explain myself, and my situation. I hope I didn't come across as rude and arrogant last night. If I did please accept my apologies, I'm not like that.

I'm just trying to make sense of my life as currently it's not really going anywhere.

I'll try to interact around the forum more today. 

Thank you for all of your replies and for your input here.