Looking for advice

I've joined this forum because I'd really like some advice on how to help my future Step-daughter.  She is an Autistic Adult and her father and myself are due to marry later this year. I'm finding it difficult to understand her behaviour (silence and the appearance of sullen moods) and want to try to understand things from her perspective.

I know having me move into her home will be challenging, especially as she has been on her own with her father for a few years now and having to share him with someone else is proving difficult.  We are redecorating the home and we have included her in the decision making, of colours, design etc, where we can.

My real issue is that she struggles when her father and myself show any affection towards each other. What can I do to make the transition easier for her please?  Would welcome discussing things through with someone privately, if it is allowed.  I'd just like to help both myself and her in this new phase of our lives.  I'm sorry if this isn't the right way to do it, I'm just at a loss of where to go for help.  If this isn't appropriate then I apologise; please point me in the right direction, thank you. 

Parents
  • My parents were not affectionate in front of me, and even if I'm out with others, it's uncomfortable to see that kind of stuff in general. Maybe keep the affection between the two of you in private, but not directly in front of your step daughter. I mean, imagine if your father dated another woman, and then you see them being affectionate right in front of you? Wouldn't that be a bit uncomfortable? 

    I'm not sure if the step daughter has high needs, or low needs, but I guess you'll find out through the father and through experience. She might have low sociability, she may have special interests, and she may have certain daily routines that she follows to feel comfortable. I imagine that it might be awkward for some time, but that might settle once everyone knows a bit more about each other. 

Reply
  • My parents were not affectionate in front of me, and even if I'm out with others, it's uncomfortable to see that kind of stuff in general. Maybe keep the affection between the two of you in private, but not directly in front of your step daughter. I mean, imagine if your father dated another woman, and then you see them being affectionate right in front of you? Wouldn't that be a bit uncomfortable? 

    I'm not sure if the step daughter has high needs, or low needs, but I guess you'll find out through the father and through experience. She might have low sociability, she may have special interests, and she may have certain daily routines that she follows to feel comfortable. I imagine that it might be awkward for some time, but that might settle once everyone knows a bit more about each other. 

Children
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