My social worker asked me to join a walking club

We went there yesterday and it was all retired people except for one other man who was going for the first time and also, I think, someone with mental health issues, though unlike myself, he didn't come across as Autistic.

Some of the people there were very nice, I however felt very stilted in their company, as I do generally with most people. I felt a dislike for myself because I was struggling to smile at people and think of anything to say and couldn't decide where to look or who to look at and felt awkward.

I don't think I'll go again, the main reason people go is to talk and be friendly which is what I also wanted to be a part of but I felt utterly like a fish out of water. I feel a little upset because my social worker helped set that group up and seemed convinced going there would be good for me as there would be no women I could fall in love with (his words) and he thought nobody there would pose a risk to me.

The thing I find most difficult about social clubs is I tend to want to talk about things specifically, such as what I'm interested in or have been thinking about, and others there are spontaneous and talking about, for example, a coot that was spotted nesting under a water fountain and a swan that was pecking at a dog, neither of which I found very interesting, but were both a source of amusement to others in the group. This left me feeling mean towards the others as I simply wasn't interested and also bored.