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Feel like a bad person after the mistakes I’ve made

Rach91

I have been behaving very inappropriately with one certain friend the burner phone going over his uninvited back months ago but he always comes back in the end but feel I don’t deserve it. As a person with ASD and ADHD I react out of impulse do now think later instead of it being the other way around. I am trying to change my ways but I worry about him I’m obsessive over him but I am working on improving that and I have made some improvements like seeing my other friends going to board game groups even having days where we don’t speak we just say good night and that’s it. I feel like a bad person all these mistakes people say it’s me being human but what sort of a human being goes out to buy a burner phone just to check up on a friend who wants space after a falling out? What drove me to it other than impulse I really don’t know and the worse thing about it is I can’t even tell the people involved the truth without driving them away. I know my behaviour is inappropriate but I always act before I think I get paranoid and think worse case scenario and then I have to do something about it instead of thinking stop think use logic. I have contacted the mind charity to see if I can get therapy because I know I need to stop my behaviour before it gets worse. But how can I swap the act and think over? I am really struggling with that one. 

Parents

  • As Cleo said, you have made the first step by trying to get therapy/counselling.

    I'm wondering if you are trying too hard to have a lot of friends and go out a lot when what you actually need is some time alone. When you are young you can feel like you should be making lots of friends and being in touch all the time, and these days everyone expects you to be on social media too, but it can be exhausting having constant contact with people, and when our minds are exhausted it's difficult to make sensible decisions. 

    Perhaps try finding an interest or hobby that you can do on your own at home, such as reading, drawing, writing, puzzles, and turn off your phone/ social media while doing it, which will allow your mind to focus on that activity and forget about your "social life" for a few hours.

Reply

  • As Cleo said, you have made the first step by trying to get therapy/counselling.

    I'm wondering if you are trying too hard to have a lot of friends and go out a lot when what you actually need is some time alone. When you are young you can feel like you should be making lots of friends and being in touch all the time, and these days everyone expects you to be on social media too, but it can be exhausting having constant contact with people, and when our minds are exhausted it's difficult to make sensible decisions. 

    Perhaps try finding an interest or hobby that you can do on your own at home, such as reading, drawing, writing, puzzles, and turn off your phone/ social media while doing it, which will allow your mind to focus on that activity and forget about your "social life" for a few hours.

Children
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