Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm not sure if this an autistic thing or a "me" thing but I am find it really difficult comforting people when they are upset. I find this especially difficult over text (in person less so). I just don't know what to say and when I think I do I end up saying the wrong things a lot of the time. This is particularly true when dealing with friends who have chronic mental health issues. I feel like there's only so much I can say "I'm sorry you're feeling this way" before it sounds like an empty statement. I think sometimes I come across as cold or not understanding when in fact the opposite is true, I just don't know how to show it.
I think over text its very difficult to offer support beyond a certain extent in the immediate moment. Whereas in person offering compassionate support may be a lot easier. At the end of the day there is enormous value in just listening, holding space for someone else and letting them express themselves without judgement. I know exactly how you feel about the "I'm sorry your feeling this way" statement, it can sometimes feel like I want to say more but there just aren't the words and I feel uncaring.
Especially when trying to support those with mental health difficulties, remember there is only so much you can do. You cannot change their life neither is it your responsibility to. But by offering an ear and letting them know you are there while they go through their recovery journey shows you care. Sometimes an individual cannot be comforted when they are experiencing certain emotional distress, in this case I think maybe the only thing we can do is to sit alongside them (physically or over text as it were) and with time hope their emotional distress changes or they find comfort in themselves.