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How to make friends

Mark

At least 2 people recently have asked about this, and I didn't get round to responding, so here goes:

Step 1: Always be open and honest with the person you're trying to make friends with.

Step 2: Give each other a detailed description of your personalities. In theory, you instantly know each other well enough to know whether you like each other then.

Step 3: Ask questions about each other. I've got into trouble before for asking too many questions; I think 3 per e-mail should be about the right number though.

It's worked 2 out of 2 times for me when I've tried this method with people I've been in touch with by private message on here. We got on so well that I made friends with each of them in less than 2 weeks! So it seems to work.

I hope that's helpful for people.

Parents

  • Although the suggestions you have given are good for people wishing to form online friendships, I feel it is also worth adding that they can require just as much time and effort as friendships that exist offline in the 'real' world.

    Quite often on the NAS forums, I see posts from members who give the impression that they are hoping to establish instant friendships with other members. In my experience, there's a big difference between being friendly with other people online, and actually being online friends.

  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    Yeah, building a connection with someone over a longer period of time is more important to me. Going straight in with "let's be friends" has proven to be more damaging for me.

  • in reply to HMO

    One thing that makes me feel very uneasy is when the other person has decided, based solely on one exchange, that you are their friend, and maybe even their best friend. The uneasiness comes from feeling 99.9% certain that you have absolutely nothing in common with that person, and that you just cannot relate to them in any meaningful way.

    It's one of those horrible situations where you don't want to upset the other person, but you're inwardly thinking, "Help! How do I get out of this situation?" 

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  • in reply to HMO

    One thing that makes me feel very uneasy is when the other person has decided, based solely on one exchange, that you are their friend, and maybe even their best friend. The uneasiness comes from feeling 99.9% certain that you have absolutely nothing in common with that person, and that you just cannot relate to them in any meaningful way.

    It's one of those horrible situations where you don't want to upset the other person, but you're inwardly thinking, "Help! How do I get out of this situation?" 

Children
  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    Yep. I have been on both sides of that situation so I understand it better than I would have done, say, 4 years ago. I used to get overexcited and as a result, scare them off.

    I used to speak to someone who, after 2 weeks, said I was the best thing that ever happened to them. I'm not criticising them because they're autistic too and I can understand how things get muddled like that. However, we had nothing in common.