Struggling with loss

Hi. My name is Kitty, I'm autistic. I struggle with the loss of my sister. She's been gone nearly 10 years and I still can't process it. My parents and my brothers have all seemingly moved on but I still miss her as much as I always have and often think about her and wish she was still here. I remember all the fun times we had and our talks and it's hard to push that from my mind. 

When my Gran died it wasn't nearly as bad because I wasn't as close to her but with my sister it's been hard to accept what happened and that she's gone. It's like my brain tries to understand and process it but it can't accept it. 

That's what it feels like. 

It was suggested to me to create a memory box and then I can look through it at her possessions and pics but I haven't done this yet. I'm not sure if it will work or not. 

I have started working at a nursery with little children and though I find this work absolutely exhausting, I do enjoy it and it's helping me cope better with the loss I've noticed. 

Working is hard to keep up but I waited so long to get a job and my employer is understanding of my autism and my situation with my grief so I really don't want to screw up this opportunity!