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Old age hitting hard.

John R

Where do I start? Soon to be 67. . Recently diagnosed ADHD and Autism. NT partner 74. Been together 30+ years. Thought all our problems might get resolved with diagnosis.

Not so. Partner feels hopeless. Alone. Isolated. She can't see me ever changing. Before diagnosis she had hope that I could. She feels her life with me has been wasted. She hones in on my every 'mistake' and blames Autism. "You're the autistic one" is being said more and more.

What is so sad is that she is a truly good person becoming sad, scared and bitter.

Parents
  • John R said:
    Partner feels hopeless. Alone. Isolated. She can't see me ever changing.

    The diagnosis changes nothing - it just informs you of why you are the way you are.

    It isn't an excuse for anything - just a reason for it.

    If you want to give your partner hope then ask her what you can change and try to make that change for her. Fight for the relationship and prove you are not set in stone and can do things that may be uncomfortable because it means a lot to her.

    So long as you are not pushing yourself to any dangerout territory then what do you have to lose?

Reply
  • John R said:
    Partner feels hopeless. Alone. Isolated. She can't see me ever changing.

    The diagnosis changes nothing - it just informs you of why you are the way you are.

    It isn't an excuse for anything - just a reason for it.

    If you want to give your partner hope then ask her what you can change and try to make that change for her. Fight for the relationship and prove you are not set in stone and can do things that may be uncomfortable because it means a lot to her.

    So long as you are not pushing yourself to any dangerout territory then what do you have to lose?

Children