Published on 12, July, 2020
I’m really disappointed in a lot of recent posts which reek of prejudice and blame against “NTs”. it’s as if “NT” has suddenly become a safe word to slur other people with.
”NT’s” are the majority of humanity. They are a hugely diverse bunch. The vast majority of them are just ordinary people having a difficult enough time managing their own lives.
They are not to blame for our individual situations. They didn’t make your life the way it is.
Some of the stuff I’ve seen on here this weekend would’ve been reported to death if it had been directed at other groups.
Please, stop. You have to be better than this.
Thank you for bringing this up on the forum for discussion.
This is a safe place where people can vent their frustrations without risk of being made to feel they are in the wrong. However, we do need to remember that NTs also have relationship problems, disagree about stuff, and may be manipulated - it's not just autistic people who get frustrated with others.
I found it helpful to study how neurotypical brains develop and what drives their behaviour. For example, small talk isn't a way of conveying facts about topics like the weather or hobbies, in the hope of a more detailed discussion about that topic. It's to check if another person fits into their social identity group, and much of the communication will be non verbal (them reading facial expressions and body language) A common complaint from autistic people is that they aren't listened to if they come up with new ideas - which is because NT brains develop a "belief web" of the world, and new information that doesn't fit that web is often filtered out. They aren't deliberately trying to frustrate you, it's just how they are.
There is a theory called "the double empathy problem" - because NTs and Autistic people experience the world differently, both groups lack an understanding of the other group.
I try to be kind to and make allowances for everyone. If I state I'm autistic and they say "everyone's probably a bit autistic" I don't take offence, as I understand they are trying to make me feel included and accepted. If they say "you don't look autistic", I kindly explain masking and mimicking, and mention famous people on the spectrum such as Chris Packham and Dan Ackroyd.
To celebrate Aiutism Acceptance Week, I sent an email to all my colleagues with a list of the attributes of NT s and the attributes of Autistic people, to raise awareness of how a diverse range of people working together can create a wide skill set. We are all valuable individuals.
Pixiefox said:I found it helpful to study how neurotypical brains develop and what drives their behaviour. For example, small talk isn't a way of conveying facts about topics like the weather or hobbies, in the hope of a more detailed discussion about that topic. It's to check if another person fits into their social identity group, and much of the communication will be non verbal (them reading facial expressions and body language
Another difference is that non autistic people tend to value social hierarchy hence the need for small talk whereas it’s common for us autistics to dismiss hierarchy and instead view everyone as equal.
Pixiefox said:There is a theory called "the double empathy problem" - because NTs and Autistic people experience the world differently, both groups lack an understanding of the other group.
Great point!