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Worried about my mum forgetful memory

NAS84046

Hello my name is John

I'm worried about my mum she's in her 60s & although she's retired from work as she was a child protection worker for social services. She now works in a hotel & 2 times a year goes travelling with her husband to EU in motorhome.

Her memory is definitely changed I noticed the other day she forgot to close the boot when going out in car & then few days later we went to visit my nan in hospital & she forgot were she parked her car. Today she ordered a meal from KFC with me I placed my own order & she forgot to collect her order so I carried her order to table with mine she looked distracted & confused & puzzled. A few months ago her husband left the steering lock on drop down bed & it dropped on her head she checkout with A&E with minor cut.

I love my mum but I can't protect her as her husband is in the way & I don't get along with him due to negative attitude bullying

My mum has supported me from birth to now I'm 38 living independently with Level 2 Autism & ADHD & EUPD & SPD 

Through out the years I've attempted suicide 16x 2x in the last 4 months I really don't want to see her die.

I struggle myself to keep track of the years & kids growing up in the family I struggle to understand the life cycle from child to adult I also struggle with performing sex. I struggle to understand emotions & facial expressions & struggle with communication as I was non verbal from birth to age of 18 when I spoke for 1st time.

I live on the isle of man on my own with my Teddy bear called BlU we've been living independently since 2015

I do not work but build rc models of police cars & rc trucks & rc cranes up. I cycle Bike & do photography with my Canon 1300D dslr.

I don't normally cry unless really struggle with life & death. I went to my autism friend's funeral a month ago this hurt me as I saw him everyday in my community & then he suddenly died I've lost my fair share of mates in covid-19 pandemic & through the years from suicide & end of life.

I had a Pulmonary Embolism in 2016 I had 4 blood clots in my right lung & 2 blood clots in my left lung . Then had a mini stroke & cardiac arrest in 2005 when I was a child at 7 years old I had a trauma when I was hit in left eye with a metal baseball bat. I'm 6.7ft with uk size 17.5 feet.

I visit my dad once a year I struggle to visit him as my my mum & dad separated when I was a child I witnessed my dad throw a microwave at my mum in a domestic dispute & although I love my dad he's not supported me with my autism like my mum has also my family understands my autism but not fully aware of the dangers in self harm & attempt suicide in my autism & visiting them becomes difficult  as they don't want to see me that way.

I use to self harm regular almost everyday ***. But now trying to change coping mechanism & taking new meds to help fight depression & anxiety thanks to local mental health I dis believe in hospital so if I Overdose or cut myself I will not phone for help as I want to enjoy the feeling of bleeding or slowly dieing. 4 months ago when I OD 2x in 2 days  ***.

I went to A&E & had to drink 2x bottles of charcoal posion control liquid to prevent death then admitted to hospital for 3 weeks & hooked to life support as my blood stayed thin for a week before it regained thickness. At the time my bpm was 225bpm resting..

[edited by moderator]

  • in reply to NAS84046

    Hi NAS84046 

    Thanks so much for checking back in and updating us with how you are doing now. You did well to take those important steps to look after yourself. I am glad the UK crisis support service helped. I hope you can find an activity that helps you to get through the day whenever you are having a bad feeling.

    Take care

    Sharon Mod

  • in reply to Rosie Mod

    Hi Wave Rosie Mod I've messaged my mental health nurse to tell him I need to place a red flag due to my suicidal thoughts he will pick up the pieces on Monday when he is back in work. I use mind & uk crisis numbers as the isle of man only has 1 helpline.

    My mental health autism support I seen last Thursday she said to me she could see there was something wrong with me & flagged it before I flagged it on Saturday night.

    Uk crisis support helped loads I took 5mg diazipam/PRN & felt better in morning but back low this afternoon constantly feeling like something bad is gonna happen with my life.

  • in reply to piggy1401

    Thank you Alisha

  • Hiya,

    Thanks for sharing so much about your life, seems like everything is really tough right now.

    In regards to your mum, as people get older their memory does deteriorate a little, maybe start a diary or something of the things she forgets and when that is in the day. And if it gets any worse maybe discuss your worries with her, it seems like you have a great relationship with her so I'm sure she would appreciate your concern.

    It must have been awful to lose your friend, I'm sorry for your loss.

    Witnessing that as a child must have been really traumatic and it's not a surprise that you don't see him regularly.

    Reading that you are trying to fight the depression has made me smile. I'm so pleased that you are trying to keep yourself safe, you seem like such a lovely person. I've really enjoyed how open you have been in this post

    Alisha xx

    P.S. I had charcoal at hospital once and it was awful, put me off overdosing againJoy

  • Dear NAS84046,

    I’m sorry you are going through such a tough time, it’s good that you’ve let us know what’s happening and how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay.   

       

    If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support.  

       

    If it’s outside your GP hours call  111 to reach the NHS 111 service:  

    https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/  

      

    The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org.  

      

    MIND have information pages on coping with self harm or suicidal feelings based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful.   

    The information on our self-harm page may be of particular interest: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/self-harm  

     

    If you feel you need more urgent help, our website lists some options you could consider https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help 

     

    If you are very close to doing something to hurt yourself - call 999 now or go to your nearest A&E department. There should be someone there to support you and make sure you get ongoing support.  

      

    You can find more information here:  

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/suicide 

    Kind Regards,
    Rosie Mod