Worried about my mum forgetful memory

Hello my name is John

I'm worried about my mum she's in her 60s & although she's retired from work as she was a child protection worker for social services. She now works in a hotel & 2 times a year goes travelling with her husband to EU in motorhome.

Her memory is definitely changed I noticed the other day she forgot to close the boot when going out in car & then few days later we went to visit my nan in hospital & she forgot were she parked her car. Today she ordered a meal from KFC with me I placed my own order & she forgot to collect her order so I carried her order to table with mine she looked distracted & confused & puzzled. A few months ago her husband left the steering lock on drop down bed & it dropped on her head she checkout with A&E with minor cut.

I love my mum but I can't protect her as her husband is in the way & I don't get along with him due to negative attitude bullying

My mum has supported me from birth to now I'm 38 living independently with Level 2 Autism & ADHD & EUPD & SPD 

Through out the years I've attempted suicide 16x 2x in the last 4 months I really don't want to see her die.

I struggle myself to keep track of the years & kids growing up in the family I struggle to understand the life cycle from child to adult I also struggle with performing sex. I struggle to understand emotions & facial expressions & struggle with communication as I was non verbal from birth to age of 18 when I spoke for 1st time.

I live on the isle of man on my own with my Teddy bear called BlU we've been living independently since 2015

I do not work but build rc models of police cars & rc trucks & rc cranes up. I cycle  & do photography with my Canon 1300D dslr.

I don't normally cry unless really struggle with life & death. I went to my autism friend's funeral a month ago this hurt me as I saw him everyday in my community & then he suddenly died I've lost my fair share of mates in covid-19 pandemic & through the years from suicide & end of life.

I had a Pulmonary Embolism in 2016 I had 4 blood clots in my right lung & 2 blood clots in my left lung . Then had a mini stroke & cardiac arrest in 2005 when I was a child at 7 years old I had a trauma when I was hit in left eye with a metal baseball bat. I'm 6.7ft with uk size 17.5 feet.

I visit my dad once a year I struggle to visit him as my my mum & dad separated when I was a child I witnessed my dad throw a microwave at my mum in a domestic dispute & although I love my dad he's not supported me with my autism like my mum has also my family understands my autism but not fully aware of the dangers in self harm & attempt suicide in my autism & visiting them becomes difficult  as they don't want to see me that way.

I use to self harm regular almost everyday ***. But now trying to change coping mechanism & taking new meds to help fight depression & anxiety thanks to local mental health I dis believe in hospital so if I Overdose or cut myself I will not phone for help as I want to enjoy the feeling of bleeding or slowly dieing. 4 months ago when I OD 2x in 2 days  ***.

I went to A&E & had to drink 2x bottles of charcoal posion control liquid to prevent death then admitted to hospital for 3 weeks & hooked to life support as my blood stayed thin for a week before it regained thickness. At the time my bpm was 225bpm resting..

[edited by moderator]