Published on 12, July, 2020
For years I have had this habit whenever I feel like I have done something wrong that I just say sorry no matter what it is. I have CPTSD as I have dealt with trauma since my childhood, my father was physically abusive to my mother and my brother is physically and mentally handicapped because of it, my father blames me to this day for my brother, when I was 5 I was SAed by my 13 year old neighbor and he told my grandmother that it was my idea and she whipped me for it severely and my first relationship I was domestically abused, r*ped and blamed for it. All my life my mother used my diagnosis against me to invalidate my feelings whenever I was upset and constantly pushed me into sensory overloads and would always tell me that I don’t understand social “norms” and that I needed to accept things that were hurting me. I put all this out here because I know that a lot of this plays a role in why I constantly apologize for things but I have wondered if other Autistics who haven’t been through what I have have a habitual habit of apologizing for things or is it just me?
I apologise for everything too. Not sure if it is an autistic thing or because I just feel constantly like I am not good enough and to blame for everything. I'm very insecure and feel like I get things wrong all the time, I'm very self-conscious and I worry about offending people or saying the wrong thing. All of these factors make me obsessively apologise...