Published on 12, July, 2020
When I was a child I had formed a strong emotional attachment to my grandmother. If she left me to go to the store I would have a fit the entire time until she came back and when she died when I was 10 it was the end of the world for me. I can’t go to her grave because I lose my mind and every fiber of my being just wants to lay there and die just to be with her again. Since then I have had only one attachment to someone that is just as strong and because there’s not a lot about it and it’s only a “stereotype” of Autistic children, it’s hard for the neurotypical who I have the bond with to see how much trust that means that I have for them and understand it, even now I fear saying more about it because I don’t want it to get misunderstood and I just don’t know why these emotional attachment bonds aren’t discussed and only Autistic children are seen with these bonds and no one has an issue with it but if it’s an adult who’s Autistic that has the same thing it’s like no one wants to be understanding about it at all. I just don’t understand why Autistic adults having this isn’t discussed much?
I'm sure it is talked about, within wider topics.
E.g. one of the recent ones I've had to deal with is my therapist. Transference is a thing within the therapy sphere, and it almost definitely happens to neurotypical people as well.
One time my therapist wanted to hug me after a major life success. And he goes with what i say and doesn't seem to do therapy. It's like talking to a friend. I don't have feelings for him but he makes me think he cares about me and i'm disgusted by that. He is just a therapist and i want it that way. Wanting distance and working with my mind making it better. It is probably transference if i care about how he feels, but i really don't want to...wondering if i should end this therapy.
If you are are at the stage where transference is happening it a breakthrough, where you can back away, or break through. If you back away now and whatever let you to therapy will persist. Trust the process and allow the transference to run it's course will bring breakthroughs.
There are negative and positive transference. They are both stages valuable to the process. You are on the verge of breaking through to a richer life.
Knowing what's right for oneself is something i get better at. Of course you don't know the future and can never be sure, but if you do what you truly want (with love) then you feel good about it. Of course it is ok to have these feelings that you have for your therapist and it is honest and honerable to tell it. I hope you can still be comferatble with her and profit from your therapy.
Don't know if i will end my therapy, but right now i think so. Thank you for your kind words and advice!
Ye thats for sure u have to do what's right for u nice to meet u by the way I just joined and still trying to figure this out lol
I'd go with your gut instinct. If your therapist is a good one, they won't flip out at you telling them that. Heck, I told my therapist I felt like I was in love with her. She didn't run away, and I didn't think she would but I was embarrassed about it.
I'm sure you'll do what's right for you.