Published on 12, July, 2020
I feel lonely most of the time. I live at home with my parents but I'm kind of the outcast, maybe because of the autism? I never know what to say to people and my social skills suck anyway. At school I was lonely too no one ever wanted to talk to me or be friends. I even attended an evening chess class last year and I still didn't make a single friend...
It's almost like I'm incapable of making friends. I try. And I really do try, I've even looked up tips online on what to say and that sort of thing and it doesn't work.
I think the main problem is I come across awkward and I think it puts people off because they see my awkwardness and probably can sense how anxious I am as well if that makes sense.
I'll be 27 soon and I'm sad I still don't have any friends. I was hoping by now I would have a boyfriend too but that's not happened either.
Sorry you feel that way, but as others have said, you aren't alone.
I wish I could give advice but I seem to have been fortunate that the few friends I do have appreciate my idiosyncrasies, but I still don't do well with the majority of people. All I suppose I can advise is to just be yourself. Try not to overthink it and hopefully someone will come along. You won't be alone forever, and when you do find friends it will mean even more to you.
This was also my experience, and still is. In fact I’m lucky to be married, but it also took me a long time to find someone. Most important thing, not just random someone, but someone who is a good fit and respects. I wish you all best and I hope you find like minded people here.
This is something you're definitely not alone with this experience Adele.
I really wish I could say or do something that would help you with this but it's something I struggle with as well and so far nothings changed. The only thing I can suggest is don't force yourself to try and find friends and have a partner and so on as that's a lot of expectation and will make you feel low if it doesn't happen quickly.
It might also be a small comfort knowing that there are many of us in this lonesome boat. We have each other and we understand, that in itself brings me comfort.
Hey when the time is right u will meet somebody ,I'm socially awkward to but ur welcome to message me anytime xx
You’re certainly not alone Adele, you’ve just described my life.
I can’t really offer a solution but I will say one thing: as I got older I layered social skills on top of myself partly through conscious effort and partly through exposure to people at work. I don’t think people at work really realise I have a problem as they often assume I have a wife etc. So I am not excluded / isolated in quite the way I was in my earlier life.
But yes, finding a wife and a family would be like winning the lottery for me.
I’ve had experiences like this before and I can’t really give any tips and everyone is different. But know this: you’re not alone. There are many of us who are Autistic who understand the struggle of being autistic in a NT world.
You're definitely not alone in having that experience.
I wish I could give you tips but I found I had more luck when I wasn't trying too hard. I used to be too mechanical which I've tried to ease back from.
Hopefully this community allows you to meet like minded people.