I Had Forgotten the Loneliness

Hello. New to the forum. Not officially diagnosed with autism due to waiting lists and such, but heavily suspected of being autistic. 

Not been in work since July last year. Just got a new job. This week was my first week. Procurement in the NHS. My sort of job. Working with numbers and hidden away in a stock room either putting stock away or ordering it. Enjoying the job so far. However, I'm now exhausted. All week, I've met new people, tried to engage in conversation, tried to make a good impression. I had forgotten how exhausting it is. The most simple of interpersonal exchanges are exhausting, and when they're done I'm left ruminating on all the micro-movements of the facial muscles, the hesitance in the voice of the other party, the clear discomfort that builds as we talk more, and what it was I actually did wrong in brief exchanges that, to me, at the time felt normal. I've come away from the week having encountered some lovely people who seemed enthusiastic to meet me only for them to now seem uncomfortable to be alone with me. All I've done is just try to make conversation and be friendly, but - as a therapist once told me - it seems like I put people off because I simply, albeit unconsciously, do not engage like neuro-typical people do, and my facial expressions, eye contact and pattern of speech, while all unconscious, send a message to the neuro-typical that something is wrong and they, unconsciously of why, feel uncomfortable around me. 

I ended my day today before the bank holiday to two interactions with two people who had initially been enthusiastic and now either seemed uncomfortable or just blew the conversation off ASAP. And that's when the loneliness returned, the feeling of not fitting in. I tried to talk to a family member about it, but wasn't understood and then the loneliness and feeling of being out of place was compounded. I've spent the evening feeling exhausted, but also low because I'm struck with this fear that now I'm back in the workplace, I am again going to be the weird guy, the outsider, the one that everyone sort of likes but isn't willing to get too close to because there's something just a little off. At 34 years of age, I'd rather not be that again because it has been something I have always had to struggle with. 

I apologise for the rant and for being a buzzkill with my first post, but wanted to air my feelings in a place where I may be understood. 

Any replies welcome. Any similar experiences. Any advice. 

And nice to "meet" you all.