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Fear of people seeing me seeing them

Colin
1 month ago

Hi

I'm not sure if my questions are even autism related or if it's just me but I'll ask anyway.

For the whole of my life, I've hated people outside seeing me in my house. Even if I'm stood looking out my window and a neighbour comes out of their house onto the street. I hide so they don't see me but it happens so often that they must have seen me hiding. If I bump into them outside or when leaving the house it isn't a problem but we've never brought up the weirdness of me hiding from them. Actually, now I think about it, if I see somebody I know in Tesco and they haven't seen me, I always hide.

So, my questions: is this an autism thing? Can I get over this fear of people seeing me seeing them? Should I bring up that weird behaviour next time I'm talking to a neighbour?

Thanks

Parents
  • 1 month ago

    I do this too sometimes, usually when I see they saw me looking I assume they think I was "spying on them" so rather than smile and wave I often dash away, probably making it look far worse.

    I think it's overthinking on my part that makes me do that, which might be autism or just that I'm an overthinker who's autistic.

  • 1 month ago in reply to Autisician

    I really can't work out why I hide but while I'm thinking about it, I don't like it being the other way round either. I don't even look at windows of houses as I walk down the street in case there's somebody inside that will see me.
    I was thinking that by bringing it up with the neighbours, I can ask them if they mind me seeing them, waving or whatever - you know, find out what is normal.

    One thing I've learned about over thinking is that I'll never find out the answers to things like this by only talking to myself

Reply
  • 1 month ago in reply to Autisician

    I really can't work out why I hide but while I'm thinking about it, I don't like it being the other way round either. I don't even look at windows of houses as I walk down the street in case there's somebody inside that will see me.
    I was thinking that by bringing it up with the neighbours, I can ask them if they mind me seeing them, waving or whatever - you know, find out what is normal.

    One thing I've learned about over thinking is that I'll never find out the answers to things like this by only talking to myself

Children
  • 1 month ago in reply to Colin

    One thing I did think after replying....

    I do struggle with inertia and often find I'm still staring not yet reacting (waving, smiling the fake smile, etc.) for a few seconds some times. So I am conscious of that looking a bit weird.

    In public places I'm very self conscious, I feel like I'm being watched and judged and need to ensure I'm not doing anything weird, it's exhausting in the office, working from home a lot has helped, the dog doesn't judge!