Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anyone here find talking to people hard work? I feel like my self talk is constantly working over time trying parse what the other person is saying, and then I'm telling myself that they may be trying to tell me something different or that a smile or facial expression can mean loads of things. Sometimes I have to tell myself to just listen. If I am in a group of people it's terrible, like people are speaking in tongues and there too many conversations going on at the same time.
I had the first part of an autism assessment recently and haven't been back for the second part because they kept saying I was too verbally fluid and used gesture. Even though if anyone knew me from childhood they would say I was extremely quiet, which I am, unless you engage me in a topic I know about. I think I have fairly limited gestures as opposed to other people aswell.
As an adult in my 40's I think I have managed to learn loads of ways to deal with things I find difficult.
I wondered if anyone else has a similar experience? Debating whether to continue on the diagnosis journey, or take a route that is less NHS.
I’m heading for 70. Talking to people is exhausting. Listening is good - I’ve never met anybody who didn’t like to be listened to. I do sometimes warn people that I am listening although I am not looking at them. Expressing any opinion is risky, except with trusted friends. I avoid face to face conversations (far too much information from faces and body language to process at the same time as trying to think). Side by side conversations seem to be more rewarding - in the car, or walking for example.
I was assessed last year on Zoom (on the NHS). No idea what my assessor actually looked like. The questions confused me and I felt like I was not being understood, or they thought I was untruthful. Distressing, and such a relief when I was told “Yes you are autistic”. So it was worthwhile in the end. Now I know for sure I’m different and that’s okay. More than okay.
When I was younger I used to just listen and not say much back, because trying find the words was way too difficult.
As I get older I find it harder to bite my tongue, because apparently people don't like it if you say something like "i don't think you have thought or read about this enough to have an opinion".
It's still difficult to find the words, I've just become better at saying, that I don't know what people are talking about.
In groups of people it's like they are speaking in tongues.
NAS77976 said:As I get older I find it harder to bite my tongue, because apparently people don't like it if you say something like "i don't think you have thought or read about this enough to have an opinion".
That is so true.