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Feeling let down

NAS72378
6 months ago

I am part of a group of 4 heterosexual couples and today I discovered the other 3 men, I have known for about 10 years, went to watch the Rugby in France this weekend. It was never mentioned to me, and it has triggered so many childhood traumas of being excluded by those you are supposed to be close to.

I don't really know hope to cope with this, all the feelings of failure have hit me hard, and I am in my 60s. 

I just feel so broken tonight and want to shut myself away from the world. I want to end my relationship with my partner to avoid ever seeing these people again. Am I being irrational?

Parents
  • 6 months ago

    Perfectly normal to feel like you do , it's not good behaviour from them and I would be feeling exactly the same.

    One issue I'd have is knowing how to respond to it and  given my history of over reacting and causing carnage, I tend to wait now till I feel calm enough to think it through.

    If you react immediately, which is what you may feel absolutely driven to do, you may regret it. It seems like this is quite a common response for us autistic types!

    I'm also sure that your partner will stand by you on this, try not to see her as part of the "group" in this situation, those ten years you have together mean a lot. She's probably equally as upset.

    Hope this helps in some way and I hope you feel better soon and find a way to sort it out.

Reply
  • 6 months ago

    Perfectly normal to feel like you do , it's not good behaviour from them and I would be feeling exactly the same.

    One issue I'd have is knowing how to respond to it and  given my history of over reacting and causing carnage, I tend to wait now till I feel calm enough to think it through.

    If you react immediately, which is what you may feel absolutely driven to do, you may regret it. It seems like this is quite a common response for us autistic types!

    I'm also sure that your partner will stand by you on this, try not to see her as part of the "group" in this situation, those ten years you have together mean a lot. She's probably equally as upset.

    Hope this helps in some way and I hope you feel better soon and find a way to sort it out.

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