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Feeling let down

NAS72378
6 months ago

I am part of a group of 4 heterosexual couples and today I discovered the other 3 men, I have known for about 10 years, went to watch the Rugby in France this weekend. It was never mentioned to me, and it has triggered so many childhood traumas of being excluded by those you are supposed to be close to.

I don't really know hope to cope with this, all the feelings of failure have hit me hard, and I am in my 60s. 

I just feel so broken tonight and want to shut myself away from the world. I want to end my relationship with my partner to avoid ever seeing these people again. Am I being irrational?

Parents
  • 6 months ago

    I can understand you feeling hurt and upset at not being asked by those men if you would like to accompany them to watch the rugby.

    You mentioned that you have known the men for approximately 10 years. Is this the first time that they have made plans to do something together and not invited you?

    From my perspective, unless you're deeply unhappy with the relationship you have with your partner, ending that relationship as a means of avoiding those men strikes me as a tad unnecessary.

    Out of interest, have you spoken with your partner about how upset you felt at not being invited?

    I found myself in a similar situation to you many, many years ago, so in some respects I feel I can relate to the emotions you felt.

Reply
  • 6 months ago

    I can understand you feeling hurt and upset at not being asked by those men if you would like to accompany them to watch the rugby.

    You mentioned that you have known the men for approximately 10 years. Is this the first time that they have made plans to do something together and not invited you?

    From my perspective, unless you're deeply unhappy with the relationship you have with your partner, ending that relationship as a means of avoiding those men strikes me as a tad unnecessary.

    Out of interest, have you spoken with your partner about how upset you felt at not being invited?

    I found myself in a similar situation to you many, many years ago, so in some respects I feel I can relate to the emotions you felt.

Children
  • 6 months ago in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    Hi Sparkly, I have spoken to my partner and she is upset about it also - for me and for herself being excluded by her female frinds who would have known of the plan.  If certainly feels like a conspiracy of silence and exclusion.

    I am sure we will both feel uncomfortable at the next planned event, where everyone attends.