Skip to main content
Close Button
Donate
  • Replies 14 replies
  • Subscribers 106 subscribers
  • Views 1284 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Feeling let down

NAS72378
6 months ago

I am part of a group of 4 heterosexual couples and today I discovered the other 3 men, I have known for about 10 years, went to watch the Rugby in France this weekend. It was never mentioned to me, and it has triggered so many childhood traumas of being excluded by those you are supposed to be close to.

I don't really know hope to cope with this, all the feelings of failure have hit me hard, and I am in my 60s. 

I just feel so broken tonight and want to shut myself away from the world. I want to end my relationship with my partner to avoid ever seeing these people again. Am I being irrational?

Parents
  • 6 months ago

    I don't think you're being irrational. You're hurting, it's understandable.

    I just think you need a bit of time to process it. I know addressing how you're feeling might be difficult but I think the people you want in your life would understand.

  • 6 months ago in reply to HMO

    Thanks HMO, It is nice to have somoene say I am not bieng irrational and that I am allowed to feel hurt be their actions.

    I am sure the rawness will end, but I can't see any way for my relationship to survive this. I wouldn't expect or ask her to give up her friends, I don't want to make a fuss to them, as that will then feel like I am being patronised.

    It is all those old childhood feelings and the need to remove myself from others as the way to end the problem. I wouldn't have minded if one or 2 of them had gone, but all 3 and not a single mention. Not only no mention to me, but also their partners said nothing to my partner. It feels like a conspiracy of silence. We are all supposed to be going camping later this year and there is no way I am going to that or any other social events - I am done with them.

Reply
  • 6 months ago in reply to HMO

    Thanks HMO, It is nice to have somoene say I am not bieng irrational and that I am allowed to feel hurt be their actions.

    I am sure the rawness will end, but I can't see any way for my relationship to survive this. I wouldn't expect or ask her to give up her friends, I don't want to make a fuss to them, as that will then feel like I am being patronised.

    It is all those old childhood feelings and the need to remove myself from others as the way to end the problem. I wouldn't have minded if one or 2 of them had gone, but all 3 and not a single mention. Not only no mention to me, but also their partners said nothing to my partner. It feels like a conspiracy of silence. We are all supposed to be going camping later this year and there is no way I am going to that or any other social events - I am done with them.

Children
No Data