My lack of understanding jokes

I'm like this as well. I find it hard to get jokes and if i'm in a group like my family or others it can be confusing and it can even disturb my senses if i find it vile and it give me the shivers etc. I'm very sensitive as well.

Definitely, an Irish colleague (I liked his sense of humour generally) at work nearly 20 years ago told me one day 'Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana' and enjoyed seeing me confused about it for the rest of the day (I was trying to understand why fruit would fly through the air like a banana?!)

Yeah, silly wordplay like that is my bag, although it's not always easy to judge if people will get it!

HMO said:

I used to struggle with jokes because at school, I used to be surrounded by people who would just flat-out lie (or be horrible) and say that they're joking.

Me similarly sadly  I was in an Italian deli restaurant yesterday and shared this with some weekend staff and it went ok  

'I once worked at a pizza parlor to get by. I needed the dough'

I used to struggle with jokes because at school, I used to be surrounded by people who would just flat-out lie (or be horrible) and say that they're joking.

Since I was 15 though, comedy has been almost my whole life. I use humour a lot when talking to people, I watch comedy etc.

Sometimes I try too hard to be funny though. It becomes something I do to mask nerves/impress someone and it can be excruciating when I'm not gelling with the other person, although at the same time I have made jokes that, although not ill-intentioned, I can see why they offended people.

Having a similar sense of humour is kind of a deal breaker for me - it's hard to imagine being surrounded by someone who I can't comfortably interact with.

You could do some research on the nature of jokes and humour - there is plenty on the internet that will explain this to you so you can identify when it is a joke and can try to connect with the humour.

It may be you are like Sheldon Cooper who has to really work at it but with a solid understanding of the mechanics you are off to a good start,

I would start with something like https://www.scienceofpeople.com/sense-of-humor/

After that, get searching for other stuff (YouTube is a good source) and educate yourself.