Published on 12, July, 2020
I am a 39 year old Male, newly diagnosed and struggling with the official diagnosis and looking for support and to sharing stories with others.
I have long thought that I was autistic and have after years of waiting, had a a formal diagnosis, but this has turned up all manner of feelings which I didn't expect.
I always thought this would bring validation, but now I feel lost and like I have wronged everyone and should be apologizing to everyone. I also don't want to disclose to anyone, but the only thing I can think of during every conversation is that I have autism and to tell the person.
I have a job and a wife and have read so many things in this last weeks, but I am struggling with being my old self, let alone unmasking.
Does anyone have advice as to how they have managed after a diagnosis and disclosure to people.
I'm most anxious about disclosures to work and controlling who knows.
I don't want an excuse, or people talking about it, pointing it out, pandering to me or giving sympathy, asking me to take a break, any of it.
I have only told people who need to know or those I'm most comfortable with. This goes for all areas of my life. You don't need to rush anything. A lot of people dont know what to do with the information because they don't want to say the wrong thing or don't understand it. It takes time to integrate it into your life. It's easier to tell people once you really understand how being autistic affects you because then you can say what you need. I also state things without specifically telling someone I'm autistic. (Its a bit loud here / I've got an overactive brain / sorry I wasn't paying attention). It takes time.
Also, look up monotropism. This helps frame the never ending washing machine that is an autistic brain.