Newly diagnosed adult now feeling lost

I am a 39 year old Male, newly diagnosed and struggling with the official diagnosis and looking for support and to sharing stories with others. 

I have long thought that I was autistic and have after years of waiting, had a a formal diagnosis, but this has turned up all manner of feelings which I didn't expect.

I always thought this would bring validation, but now I feel lost and like I have wronged everyone and should be apologizing to everyone. I also don't want to disclose to anyone, but the only thing I can think of during every conversation is that I have autism and to tell the person. 

I have a job and a wife and have read so many things in this last weeks, but I am struggling with being my old self, let alone unmasking.

Does anyone have advice as to how they have managed after a diagnosis and disclosure to people.

I'm most anxious about disclosures to work and controlling who knows. 

I don't want an excuse, or people talking about it, pointing it out, pandering to me or giving sympathy, asking me to take a break, any of it.