Published on 12, July, 2020
I am a 39 year old Male, newly diagnosed and struggling with the official diagnosis and looking for support and to sharing stories with others.
I have long thought that I was autistic and have after years of waiting, had a a formal diagnosis, but this has turned up all manner of feelings which I didn't expect.
I always thought this would bring validation, but now I feel lost and like I have wronged everyone and should be apologizing to everyone. I also don't want to disclose to anyone, but the only thing I can think of during every conversation is that I have autism and to tell the person.
I have a job and a wife and have read so many things in this last weeks, but I am struggling with being my old self, let alone unmasking.
Does anyone have advice as to how they have managed after a diagnosis and disclosure to people.
I'm most anxious about disclosures to work and controlling who knows.
I don't want an excuse, or people talking about it, pointing it out, pandering to me or giving sympathy, asking me to take a break, any of it.
on my first day of handing in my diagnosis to my manager he said so what exactly does it mean. i said yesterday i was an A***hole but today I'm just special.
I have actually learnt alot from the philosophy behind the PRIDE movement. This is me i don't care what you think and if there is a problem its you and not me.
There are people who have always known you liked you loved you etc and these people will not care in the slightest. There will be some who perhaps have kept you in the peripheral circle due you you being a 'weird' but generally an ok bloke. These people are likely to draw you in closer now they can 'understand' why you are like you are.
There will be people especially at work who will brick it that you are now likely covered by the equalities act. I highly recommend the two part documentary on iplayer by Chris Packam about autism. There are also some other good things out there.
1. Only apologies if you have been misunderstood and caused upset. Do no apologies for being you.
2. Your wife married you for who you are. That hasn't changed, you are still you, all of those weird things we do say and collect she accepted, she should be the first person you go to with your feelings as she wouldn't want you to be scared or upset and she isn't likely bothered by your behaviour.
3. Don't let the norms get you down!