Published on 12, July, 2020
I am a 39 year old Male, newly diagnosed and struggling with the official diagnosis and looking for support and to sharing stories with others.
I have long thought that I was autistic and have after years of waiting, had a a formal diagnosis, but this has turned up all manner of feelings which I didn't expect.
I always thought this would bring validation, but now I feel lost and like I have wronged everyone and should be apologizing to everyone. I also don't want to disclose to anyone, but the only thing I can think of during every conversation is that I have autism and to tell the person.
I have a job and a wife and have read so many things in this last weeks, but I am struggling with being my old self, let alone unmasking.
Does anyone have advice as to how they have managed after a diagnosis and disclosure to people.
I'm most anxious about disclosures to work and controlling who knows.
I don't want an excuse, or people talking about it, pointing it out, pandering to me or giving sympathy, asking me to take a break, any of it.
Hi Lee
I think that most of us struggle with the immediate aftermath of a positive diagnosis - no matter how much we were expecting or how much research that we had done prior.
You can expect a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions in the days and weeks after receiving your diagnosis.There is no rush or need to make knee jerk decisions - take your time.
As far as disclosure is concerned, I have always been an advocate of being open and honest with people close to me as well as work colleagues. Having said that, I am not so sure now for a couple of reasons.
However, I'm still leaning towards disclosure to the people that you interact with on a regular basis (family, friends, colleagues). It's not about having an excuse or getting sympathy. Instead, its about helping people understand the real [unmasked] you and hopefully they will accept and support the real you going forward.
One thing for sure is that you really start to understand who your real friends are!
I hope that this gives you some help / direction, and I wish you the absolute very best with your diagnosis.
How have they stopped supporting you?