Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
I am always overthinking in relationships as recently, I broke up with my ex a while ago and we have reminded friends until recently, they have always known about my Autism & OCD tendencies and have been rather supportive of them & not bothered by them which is a good thing. But recently they told me how they felt and something didn't sit right with me, did they feel that way because I was autistic, I always truly felt that I was strange or something, always talking myself down. But then they told me some stuff and it brought it up all back up.
It's like I think, can I find someone who I could have a relationship with? Without showing my tendencies or anything like that.
I would love to hear some feedback on how you cope in relationships, I have always struggled but I struggle with my emotions and explaining them.
"Situations have ended sadRelationships have all been badMine've been like Verlaine's and Rimbaud's"
Not really, I have been married for 27 years. I didn't know I was autistic until about 4 years ago, though obviously I have always been autistic. I mask very well, I do not know where my masking begins or ends. I did have problems converting friendships into romantic relationships for many years. I think this was based on a number of factors, not knowing when someone was attracted to me, being emotionally reserved and being reluctant to expose myself to possible rejection. That was until I realised that my future wife was absolutely perfect for me. I forced myself to be emotionally available and threw caution to the winds and I was lucky.
Along with the problems, autistic people have lots of advantages for a potential romantic partner, we tend to be honest, kind and loyal, and we do not manipulate people for our own gain.
Could not agree more. Matches my own experience quite closely.
You were lucky to get "perfect" first time, my experience has been different in that regard.
I can blame my own issues for most but not all of my experience in thet regard.