Dealing with conflict in the real world.

I see a lot of very conflict adverse inderviduals in this forum. I'd say since I was a kid sociaty has become more conflic adverse. I got in a fair few fights in school in the 80s. It was considered fairly normal for the odd fight to erupt in the playground. Part of the process of kids learing to resolve difrences with their words and controling their tempers was taking a few knocks when arguments turned into fights. Now we have a generation afraid of having an argument less someones feelings are hurt. Which means every time a verbal conflict erupts half of the room goes to cower in the corner. I truly belive phyical 'fighting' would be good therapy for young people, especialy autistic people. I'm thinking particularly in the context of orgonised sport like boxing, karate or judo. It should be part of the school curiculum that kids should have to face each other in phyisal confrontation so they can loose their fear of expressing interpersonal conflict and instead gain a healthy respect for the risks associated with physical violoence as well as an awareness of their own ability to handel people who might act violently towards them.

What do you guys think?

Parents
  • I’ve read a few posts like yours on here and many about the pain of being bullied and tried hard to process my own experience.

    I haven’t suffered bullying like many on here because of a weird quirk of my personality which I now believe is rooted in autism. That quirk is that I take a long time to mount any kind of emotional reaction to events so there have been a number of times in my life when people have tried to bully, intimidate or in one case attack me in the street but they have all ended the same way - I completely calmly talk to the person and, I think weird them out. I think they can’t understand why I am completely calm and not frightened and maybe think I’m a martial arts expert or something (I am not) and assume I’m not worried because I have nothing to worry about.

    This isn’t me being brave or especially good at conflict, just me having the flattest affect you can imagine. But it does make me wonder if people can’t just refuse to accept intimidation without having to resort to violence.

    That all said, I have many times being the victim of “teasing”. So much more subtle than violence. Are these people just having a bit of fun with me, their friend, or are they cruel bastards making fun of me.

    I don’t accept the teasing any more either.

Reply
  • I’ve read a few posts like yours on here and many about the pain of being bullied and tried hard to process my own experience.

    I haven’t suffered bullying like many on here because of a weird quirk of my personality which I now believe is rooted in autism. That quirk is that I take a long time to mount any kind of emotional reaction to events so there have been a number of times in my life when people have tried to bully, intimidate or in one case attack me in the street but they have all ended the same way - I completely calmly talk to the person and, I think weird them out. I think they can’t understand why I am completely calm and not frightened and maybe think I’m a martial arts expert or something (I am not) and assume I’m not worried because I have nothing to worry about.

    This isn’t me being brave or especially good at conflict, just me having the flattest affect you can imagine. But it does make me wonder if people can’t just refuse to accept intimidation without having to resort to violence.

    That all said, I have many times being the victim of “teasing”. So much more subtle than violence. Are these people just having a bit of fun with me, their friend, or are they cruel bastards making fun of me.

    I don’t accept the teasing any more either.

Children
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