Published on 12, July, 2020
Caveat: this is my experience and I don't intend to speak for anyone else.
Bullying, which for me was 99% verbal, is always difficult to deal with but I don't know if the act itself is what bothers me the most.
It's the fact no one stuck up for me. I get it to an extent; if you see it going on (either online or in-person), you may not wish to get involved because then *you'll* get attacked.
But it leaves me feeling like everyone hates me, and like I deserved it. There may have been times where I did deserve it because no one close to me validated how I was feeling; I may have done something not worth defending but I could have done with someone defending me as a human being. I didn't (and don't) feel like it's worth it anymore, like I'm useless.
Just some thoughts.
The worst is thinking it must somehow be your own fault -that you did something wrong or are just too weird or should have tried harder to fit in and therefore somehow brought it on yourself. It’s insidious.
Yeah, it's hard not to feel like it's your own fault when no one is there to support you. I can't not feel like I'm a terrible person.
Also it’s worse when it comes from someone who you thought was friendly or could be your friend