Published on 12, July, 2020
I asked this question elsewhere else recently but I thought I’d ask here too as I’m curious.
I got into a bit of an argument with a friend recently due to a misunderstanding between ourselves. We were talking about something personal and then a couple of days later she messaged me to say that I made her feel bad because I apparently got “defensive” as we were talking.
I was really confused by this because I didn’t think I *was* being defensive (still don’t) but obviously that’s how I came across to her. Anyway, it got me wondering if this was an autistic thing and apparently it is. I read a blog post from an autistic woman saying how our facial expressions and tone of voice can be mismatched with our real feelings, so in a NT orientated world we are often misunderstood based on these things alone. It would explain why so many autistic get accused of being “rude” when they aren’t.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this?
One of the most frequent phrases I hear is, “ no need to be like that mister touchy!” My answer normally is that it’s okay for you to voice your opinion but if I reply then I’m attacking?
I hear that a lot as well and also if I've talked to someone they say "Yeah I can tell you're autistic". No wonder a lot of us have low confidence and social anxiety.
It’s us versus them I’m afraid.
For these little set pieces I like to have a smart alec answer.
For instance when they ask me that loaded question "How are you?" I tend to reply; "You know, The air rushes in, and the air rushes out..." sometimes I say it wearily, sometimes enthusiastically.
It is quite amazing and this is just an observation. I have seen people have discussions on here and sometimes slight disagreements but never have I heard anyone say to each other they are being defensive. The only people that have fired that in my direction are NT’s.