Does anybody have any tips on how to communicate in ways that feel fully true to you in situations where fully unmasking would not feel safe?
Background story:
I was recently at a social gathering and a recent acquaintance told me that they felt like "I was putting on a mask" during our conversation. That took me aback a little, since masking has become almost my second nature at this point, and people seldom seem to notice. But this person somehow could tell!
I initially felt hurt by this person's remark, and then realised that it shows how much I've started to identify with my masking. They were right, after all - I was indeed putting on a mask, trying to interact in a neurotypical way. The issue is, I think they thought I was trying to hide something more than my autism, as if I was trying to manipulate - which I don't want.
Of course I wish I could communicate 100% authentically without any masking at all - and at the same time I often do not feel fully safe to unmask. I've experienced a lot of bullying growing up for communicating how it feels most authentic to me - like skipping small talk to share interesting facts about bugs or planets, avoiding eye contact, or making occasional strange faces and gestures. Sadly, I keep noticing how there is still so much discrimination against those of us who don't conform to neurotypical ways of communicating.
Finding a more authentic way to communicate would be kinder to me, and more fair to those around me. I know that I can be fully myself around people I trust, but I worry that I would be discriminated against in social situations with people I don't fully know/trust. I feel like I'm stuck in a lose-lose-lose situation!
I would be super grateful for any advice.
If you read this far, thank you!
