Published on 12, July, 2020
I think its cruel to live a life and struggle not Knowing that your Autistic (and ADHD). Struggling with relationships, employment, school, mental health etc. and not able to make sense of it. I describe it as pulling a double decker bus all my life. I have been vulnerable and at risk and i didnt know it. So when someone says you dont look autustic ir your not autustic, i want to hit them. Denying us the right to make sense of it is horrible. Some one said last week, your just different, i replied, no your just different. I was embrassing my quirky lovely self, but now i dont feel the same. X
I think they are just confused and ignorant. I spent my life masking. I have pushed my autism and emotions down to such a degree that I have never felt the emotion 'happy' or felt loved or even liked .... At 50 I am trying to get diagnosed and am doing therapy. My knowledge that I am autistic is not beholden to the opinions of others - even the medical community have shown themselves to be massively ignorant, incompetent and arrogant.
Until such time that society and the medical community are able to offer competent diagnoses quickly, you are perfectly entitled to self-diagnose - you likely know more about autism then 99.99% of doctors by this point anyway.