Trying to get my confidence back

Hi I really want to build my confidence up but I’m not sure how to do it years ago I used to be really confident I did disability awareness around different school and I used to do public speaking I used to be proud of my autism but after breaking up with my abusive neurotypical ex boyfriend my confidence just slipped away. I really want it back so far I am learning to do fire spinning my friend Rikki is encouraging me I love it but I am finding some of the moves difficult I want to start playing with fire but I’m not ready for that yet I want to get up and perform with Rikki he wants me to be proud of my autism like he is but I’m finding it hard to do that. How can I over come this how can I be the person I used to be again?