Published on 12, July, 2020
How did people react to you telling them you have autism?
For me personally my family were mostly accepting and happy for me. My dad wasn't very supportive, he's never liked me much, always thought I was fussy and didn't try hard enough in things I do. At school I used to have meltdowns because of how stressful it was and I struggled with processing but my dad said I was overreacting and attention seeking. He's never understood.
My grandparents weren't very supportive either, though my Gramps was unbelievably supportive and happy for me which did surprise me. Gramps is now my best friend, my rock, I know I can turn to him no matter what about absolutely anything. We are so close. He's more of a dad to me than my own dad is, sad but true.
When I was attempting work I decided to tell one of my colleagues that I have autism. Her reply "you don't look autistic..." After that day I found my mind constantly trying to figure out what autism actually looks like. Me, apparently.
Overall telling people of my diagnosis was well received but there have been a few people who didn't unfortunately understand, or didn't try to understand. Most people though were supportive and happy for me.
I’ve had a wide variety of reactions. My mum though initially confused (as was I) is very supportive and she understands- we realised she’s almost certainly autistic too! My dad thinks I am ruining my life by being autistic and allowing myself to mask less. His reason is that ‘he had to teach himself scripts for conversations and force himself to socialise so this is normal and what I should do too’. I suspect he could be autistic too but I would never mention this to him and I have given up on him ever understanding about me being autistic. We were never that close anyways (parents divorced young) but his reaction is still upsetting. My stepfather’s reaction actually makes me more upset. He seems to be understanding but then when I try to explain to him about some things I find difficult as I’m autistic. He’ll listen but then he’ll say- yes but there could be another explanation for you struggling with this (usually involves blaming my mum). The other day he said ‘you are intelligent, i’m sure if you really set your mind to it and studied other people’s conversation you could learn to have a normal conversation (ie be better at turn taking etc)’ So essentially he is telling me that I should mask…
I’ve also had the following reaction: ‘oh but we’re all a bit autistic’
or the following. You tell someone you are autistic, then they say ‘oh I’m so sorry’ with a tone fit for someone that has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness like endstage cancer.
Ive had lots more reactions but I think I’ll just mention one more to end on a positive one!!
when I told close friends it turned out most of them are neurodivergent too!! I just hadn’t know :) big family of aliens :)
Ann :) said:Ive had lots more reactions but I think I’ll just mention one more to end on a positive one!! when I told close friends it turned out most of them are neurodivergent too!! I just hadn’t know :) big family of aliens :)
That's really positive for you - I'm so pleased for you! I don't have any friends, if I ever do I'm hoping they will be neurodivergent as well.
I used to not have friends either, until I went to university where I was lucky to come accros people I connected to. I thought I was incapable of making friends but turns out that if you are lucky to come across the right people, it’s actually really easy! It’s just so hard to find likeminded people. I was lucky. My university actually has a very high proportion of autistic students, which might have helped. I just want you to know that just because you don’t have friends now doesn’t mean that you won’t in future- you’ve probably just not come across people that are likeminded.