Sexual desire and Aspergers - Pon Farr?

I wonder if anyone else experiences what I seem to, and whether this is common for ASD people and especially Aspir women...

I seem to go months or years when I have little or no sexual desire at all. Then suddenly I have a few months where I am very interested. my poor husband finds it very confusing but it's how I've always been since puberty.  I can best explain it as being like the vulcans Pon Farr except of course I dont die if I can't mate! It is often tied to physical reproductive fitness, ie when I stopped *** feeding my son the next month I had one of my "on" phases. Also it is often tied in to mental fantasy, not sexual ones but perhaps a new film out from a favourite actor, or seeing a new sic if show, and it all gets caught up in my mind.

sometimes I think it's my cerebellum rebelling and dosing me up on hormones to make sure I don't live in my head the whole time.

i realise this is something a bit delicate to talk about, but wondered if it is something others experience too, or just peculiar to me?

Parents
  • For some authority on this see if you can get hold of Tony Attwood's "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome" (JKP 2006). Page 308-9 discusses this issue, in a broader chapter on long term relationships, p304-315.

    "The desire for sexual activities and sexual intimacy can be excessive, almost compulsive. However, the partner of a man or woman with Asperger's Syndrome is more likely to be concerned about the lack of sexual desire rather than an excess. The partner with Asperger's Syndrome may become asexual once he or she has children or once the couple have formally committed themselves to the relationship."

    The whole area however lacks any detailed exploration. Given it must prove very significant to many couples, you'd think the demand for helpful research would outweigh coyness or sensitivity. But usually the only thing that gets discussed is inappropriate behaviours, something that gets blown out of all proportion with the number of occurrences.

    There is also the issue of delayed puberty the consequences of which may reverberate through later life. Some people have long periods of asexuality,  there is also a higher incidence of sexual identity confusion, homosexuality, and ambiguous sex drives.

    With all that going on, where's the book on it?  Oh we can't talk about that..... Why not?

Reply
  • For some authority on this see if you can get hold of Tony Attwood's "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome" (JKP 2006). Page 308-9 discusses this issue, in a broader chapter on long term relationships, p304-315.

    "The desire for sexual activities and sexual intimacy can be excessive, almost compulsive. However, the partner of a man or woman with Asperger's Syndrome is more likely to be concerned about the lack of sexual desire rather than an excess. The partner with Asperger's Syndrome may become asexual once he or she has children or once the couple have formally committed themselves to the relationship."

    The whole area however lacks any detailed exploration. Given it must prove very significant to many couples, you'd think the demand for helpful research would outweigh coyness or sensitivity. But usually the only thing that gets discussed is inappropriate behaviours, something that gets blown out of all proportion with the number of occurrences.

    There is also the issue of delayed puberty the consequences of which may reverberate through later life. Some people have long periods of asexuality,  there is also a higher incidence of sexual identity confusion, homosexuality, and ambiguous sex drives.

    With all that going on, where's the book on it?  Oh we can't talk about that..... Why not?

Children
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