Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
There are people on here and on other websites that talk about ''the autistic communication style'' and the ''non-autistic communication style.'' It largely talks about how most communication issues occur between autistics and non-autistics are because the communication styles are fundamentally so different.
I have been trying to research what these communication styles are.
I'm not sure which one I most closely fit to.
I think how I am communicating is understandable by others, only for those people to tell me what I said doesn't reflect how they interpretated what I was saying.
It is fustrating being 25 and not knowing my own ''way of being.''
Please may someone provide me with more information on autistic communication styles and non-autistic communication styles so I can better work out where I fit?
Thank-you.
I'm glad I came across this post. I am diagnosed as autistic, but the communication part of autism confuses me and then makes me question my autism diagnosis. I mean I have been reading Dr Lake Beardons book and I actually commented that I felt like it was a biography of my life based on a lot of whats written in there. But in terms of communication the examples I've seen floating around such as "is this seat taken?" I would instantly either say a single yes or no to someone. However in my mind I'm actually thinking what do you think, what a stupid question. But I never say out loud what I think, only to those I am 100% comfortable around, which is like less than the fingers on one hand. It makes me question whether I've masked for so long that I've learned the language of the NT's. If that makes sense? I do do something that I think is unique to me though (I could be wrong), I make up words or I deliberately say words wrong and try to make them sound cute. For example when saying my phone battery has died, I sometimes say its die-did. Or I will purposely say feets instead of feet.
Sometimes people sit together as friends/family and then one has to go somewhere. The person intends to come back. So, the person asks 'is this seat taken?' as in 'will anyone be coming back to sit here, or can I sit here?'
I once sat down on a free seat when it was 'taken' by someone intending to come back - so I learnt what it meant that way.
Rainbow Pixie said:It makes me question whether I've masked for so long that I've learned the language of the NT's. If that makes sense?
Yes probably you are right.
Also many of us including myself have an interest in wordplay and language more generally. I love how certain words feel on my tongue!
In terms of communication styles I often automatically interpret language literally it’s just that other people may not know as I may not voice it. For example, if someone asks a question like can I take your seat and it is already empty, that’s a stupid question. However sometimes I don’t voice my opinion as non autistic people sometimes think that I am too blunt or direct and don’t know how to respond to me.
I am a very literal, honest and direct communicator that’s obviously because I am autistic and therefore I love to deep dive in conversation topics as opposed to surface level small talk. Many non autistic people communicate via lots of vague hints which complicates interactions, whereas we (especially me) get straight to the point.
You might enjoy this meme: