Published on 12, July, 2020
I’ve worked in hospitality/customer service the whole of my adult life and always struggled, My recent autism diagnosis has made me realise how detrimental pushing myself to do this job is to my wellbeing. I have a meeting with work tomorrow to make reasonable adjustments - I’m on a zero hour contract as well and barely getting by with benefits. My mood is so slow and anxiety so high at the minute I’m struggling to do anything. I’ve applied to some remote jobs and disability benefits but feel like a failure. I’m just so tired of pushing myself to do things like this when it’s so stressful for me. I’m not sure what adjustments can be made or to go off work sick? Just feel so guilty because I love working and don’t want people to think I’m being lazy. I feel lazy by not working but I’m struggling, and rent and bills are so high.
If you can get disability benefits to give your self a break and find some time and peace so you can regroup and find your place among others without worrying about their judgements that is not a failure, that is wisdom, to me.
It got harder and harder for me to work and I ended getting put on disability without having to struggle for it too much. it changed my whole life for the better and helped me find the time and security to reach my more authentic potential.
If you love to work having the disability benefits for a time will help you relax and find the right fit without having to feel the existential threat that comes with destitution hanging over you. I'm rooting for you!
I’ve decided I’m going to take a break and try and find something better - applying to PIP at the minute and on UC so hopefully I can survive while I figure this out. thank you.
I'm rooting for you!