How do you cope with work?

At the moment I’m not coping with work. I’m a teacher. I think I’m burnt out. I’ve gone in the sick. I feel trapped and don’t think I can do it anymore. I would like a job where I can work at home alone but I can’t afford to change. When I go back I will discos reasonable adjustments but these days the contact with the kids is just chaos to me and I don’t see how that can change! 

Definitely look in to disability benefits because you're not lazy. You don't choose to be this way, none of us do. Life with autism is far from easy and I say you're amazing for doing this in the first place and for persevering through it. I tried working a few times, last time was a supermarket and it was sheer hell. I'm now on benefits which I hate doing but going out to work made me severely anxious and affected my mental health.

My experience has mirrored your in many ways!

I am a secondary school teacher. I work with some autistic students, and loads of NT students too. For an autistic person it sounds like hell - noise, lights, stress, but I seem to love it. I know when I get my downtime, in the holidays, and knowing you get the summer off has a real youthful romanticism to it.

I could not be an electrician as my fine motor skills would let me down. Some days tieing my shoelaces requires multiple go's.

I'm rooting for you!

It took me a few years of having no income, and then trying to work on low hour jobs to burnout and back to no.income again repeating back and fore in the last 15 years before I eventually was able to claim for suckness benefit with help from the autism people as I had eventually tracked down I could be on the spectrum. I was kinda suicidal by then because I was desperate. Had to sell house, classic car, camper.. All things I had bought when I was able to manage full time for a while until things collapsed around me when I could no longer mask and hit the first massive burnout.

Had to have Mums friend to help me claim benefits because even though I am intelligent, I could not do their onlime system, and I was about to chuck the doctors sicknote out of frustration about a month later when Mum remembered the lady she knkws, but then had to wait two weeks for her to be available on her day off as she was working for Mind. 

The benefits office were womderful. Complete opposite to how they had been to me in the past. Different staff from the past and I had full on support. They encouraged me to apply for PIP but rhe system was stacked against me. Even recently when being assessed the assessor asked why I didn't get PIP and I told hi! what had happened. None of the issues I had fit the boxes so I dis not have a single point. Is the same with the work review when I knew I could no longer work as I was in such an internal.mess that I knew if I tried I would get an even worse breakdown than I had before. Last time scared me as I had to.re-learn how to walk as my mind was hi s hard because I pushed and kept pushing... (I was in retail but usually in the semi- skilled work round the back of the store).

Aftwr two years  of caing Uncersa Credit I had a work rvew and it was th sae forms as PIP so I had the same issues. I went in to quit claiming benefits and go with no income again but the actions of the benefits office staff saved me. They directly contaxted their superiors and copied my scribbled notes (Was not intending for anyone to read them but for me to explan how I felt. Personal reminder...) and sent it to head office. The decision was appealed and won. I am one who never appeals! To.me if someone says no it is a no. The benefits office took over and were wonderful, as they knew how I was. I remember my work coach arranging I see their dissability officer and while talking to her in the private officer, I started to have a shutdown and was almost full out on the floor. The dissability lady was absolutely brilliant. She knew what it was as her son gets them and instantly knew what to do so I could recover! She was the first person I had ever come across in my life that knew what to do, as most people make things worse and I go into repeat shutdowns. She was absolutely wonderful and I only ever saw her that once! Her name was Angela and she was working at the Llanelli benefits office before covid struck. Neve saw her after covid or my then work coach, as new staff replaced thrm. But it made a masive difference to find people that understood. 

I am one that wants to recover... But it has been four years since then and I am not back to how I was yet. I am much better but still facing the tell tale signs of the aftermath of burnout such as balance issues and heightened anxiety/stress... (Why I have to be careful I don't end up buring out again as it could get serious). Last time I wrote down all my internet passwords and was hoping if I became worse, that I would remember where I had put them as my mind was in trouble! It is frightening when one forgets how to walk!

But I did not get PIP.  The gentleman who assessed me was surprized by this! I could not bring anyone with me on the day as my Mum had to look after my brothers children at short notice and PIP is not as important as a school meeting. (I asked if they could pospone the meeting but children take priority. So I lost the ability to claim.PIP as on my ownI was unable to explain things and the lady I saw. She asked me "If you are in a shutdown, could you write instructions to send someone out to the shops to buy you things? (I am unable to see, move, speak or even think while in a shutdown so I had to answer "No". She said as I answered no, I am not eligable to get PIP payments, and she had me agree to her so I wouldn't persue the claim.any further and that was that).

Meanwhile, they bailed out the banks. The Conservative priority right there couldn't have been clearer.

Not making any comments on everything else that has been said, but simply as a matter of fact was it not the Labour government under Gordon Brown that bailed out the banks in 2008? He famously said in Parliament that they had saved the world, when he meant to say saved the banks!

could I ask how you became self employed? I’ve been looking for remote jobs but not sure where to start as all of my experience is customer based and that’s the opposite of what I want at the minute ! 

I’ve decided I’m going to take a break and try and find something better - applying to PIP at the minute and on UC so hopefully I can survive while I figure this out. thank you.

Thank you.

This particular batch of Tories is horribly self-absorbed. They're completely cut off from reality, it is just pure traditionalist Conservatism - utter elitism. Some of the damage they've done to the country is irreparable, sadly.

Pegg said:

As an aside, I read yesterday that they're paying for a fleet of private boats to patrol the channel to stop the 'invading' migrants in small boats - so borrowing their mates' luxury pleasure boats and paying them for it then. 

What's remarkable is this idiotic demagogue works. Just picking up on people's petty prejudices is enough to distract from 13 years of catastrophic governmental failures. Classic, grand scale Dunning-Kruger effect in action. 

I was in the same place around 3 years ago. My anxiety was making me very unwell, so I decided to go self employed. Its hard because if I don't work I obviously don't take money that week. But since putting my health before work my anxiety is so much better. Yes It brings more money worries but the anxiety of working out of my home was far worse. I have just applied for PIP so hopefully that will be some help. I used to be so hard on myself when I couldn't work but I've been practising self care and treating myself like I would do a friend that is struggling with the same thing. It has helped me to feel less guilty and I now nurture myself more. I hope you get some relief from the worry soon! You've got this

Yes, we should all be voting this year, it's always important imo, but rarely so much as now, when freedoms we all take for granted are under existential threat from the Tories 

As an aside, I read yesterday that they're paying for a fleet of private boats to patrol the channel to stop the 'invading' migrants in small boats - so borrowing their mates' luxury pleasure boats and paying them for it then. 

Of course, this will be framed as a war effort, they as the patriotic government- aimed at those old voters who still remember when the war was a recent memory - sickening.

They can enact this revolting piece of propaganda, yet have no regard for the socio-economic collapse of the country.

It won't touch them, with their vast wealth, will it?

Yep. Couldn't have said it better myself. I've been on disability due to my health problems and the way that we can get treated whilst applying is awful. Unfortunately it is designed to make it hard for us to apply, most likely to put people off. I try my hardest to not beat myself up about it and tell myself how much I struggle, I deserve the help. But again, couldn't agree more with your statement. I pray that they get voted out this year, we cannot afford to carry on as we are. God only knows where we will be if they got in again...

It's been very sad to watch unfold over the last 13 years. They began it immediately as a class war with their 2010 austerity measures and it hasn't stopped since. Meanwhile, they bailed out the banks. The Conservative priority right there couldn't have been clearer. 

One way out is to class all of this as an "illusion" (I Sperg style) and enter into a transmundane reality of nihilism where you can watch on and scoff.

The alternate route is we have a general election later this year. Let's get out there and vote wisely. 

Well said Baked Potato.

You are right, sadly.

We've now reached the point where our Prime Minister is boasting about his plans for a tax cut for 'hard working people' to be paid for by cuts in benefits and public services. 

It's madness.

pinkapple said:

I feel lazy by not working but I’m struggling, and rent and bills are so high.

You're not lazy and you're not a failure.

You've got to remember we're in a hard-right capitalist society designed by neurotypical people, for neurotypical people. There's very little thought and consideration given to the neurodiverse community, so there's no surprise so many of us find it exhausting. Our Prime Minister has also called The Equality Act 2010 "woke", which further highlights how out of touch with reality our government is and the problems that creates.

The fact you're blaming yourself for this is another part of the problem.

You're not to blame. The failures of our government are. The job market is horrendous, the economy a mess, and the Tories have even paraded anti-WFH propaganda around to take that away. That's what people should be getting angry about, not with themselves.

Couldn't agree more with this ^
 
Please don't be too hard on yourself. It's easier said than done, granted, but trust me you are NOT lazy. You have autism and that has a big impact on our lives. 

If you can get disability benefits to give your self a break and find some time and peace so you can regroup and find your place among others without worrying about their judgements that is not a failure, that is wisdom, to me.

It got harder and harder for me to work and I ended getting put on disability without having to struggle for it too much. it changed my whole life for the better and helped me find the time and security to reach my more authentic potential.

If you love to work having the disability benefits for a time will help you relax and find the right fit without having to feel the existential threat that comes with destitution hanging over you. I'm rooting for you!