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Unmasked Self

DrewDoug
8 months ago

I was curious.

I see a lot of people on YouTube, who, even when talking openly about their own Autism and Autism in general. Still admit to masking ALL the time. Even while making said videos. Which I can't fully understand why. I would think surely, given the purpose and audience. It would be okay to unmask. To be your true self.

Would anyone care to share what the differences are in your unmasked self compared to your masked self?

I for one. As if I'm not "different" enough. I don't mask. Never have. It's just something I don't do.

  • I find I fidget.
  • Tap my hands and feet.
  • Rub my forehead and scalp with the back of my hands looking for imperfections.
  • I pull my eyelashes out with my fingernails when I'm feeling particularly anxious.
  • Use made up words or put random words together almost like Tourette's.
  • I'll change the subject of conversation quickly or create a weird random subject.
  • Stare at or touch things that pique my interest.
  • Imitate peoples personality and mannerisms.
  • Stare at people excessively.
  • React with excessive frustration at the smallest inconvenience.

The list goes on. While I'm at it though, here are a couple of my sensory triggers which may not be common.

  • I HATE getting my hands wet unexpectedly.
  • I CANNOT wet razor shave my face.

Both of these cause extreme sensitivity to the point of near meltdown.

Parents
  • 8 months ago

    dunno.

    i dont think of masking, i guess what i think of is levels of comfort or familiarity.

    if im new to a place and unfamiliar i can just be quiet. if i stay there long enough and get familiar i can be weirder and push their weird boat out and not give much of a toss. maybe also my weirdness is perhaps a stress response instead and its not the length that i stay in the place but rather the stress of that place over time effecting me to make me act more stupid and care less about peoples opinions the more stressed i am there. who knows. could be one or the other. familiarity causing a change in persona or a rising stress and agitation of the place i have to be in....

    its likely a mix maybe...  as i remember my first job i changed to acting strange but that wasnt stressful.... but then it was boring and i had nothing to do so maybe that was a level of stress i wasnt aware of, the stress of boredom combined with a deep seated knowledge that i wouldnt last there as no one trusted me with any task so i was pointless and a waste of money and inevitably would be got rid of. so maybe that actually was a response to that. a drop, a no longer care what they think mode..... in high school i was destructively weird but that was very stressfull and one former student i knew guessed my weird responses were a sort of social anxiety automatic response while another guessed autism which i got offended at thinking they meant insult at the time.

    my current job is very stressful, i managed to stay pretty normal for a admirable amount of time. all the other workers on other shifts and drivers always asked others on my shift if i ever even talk. so thats the kind of normal lol stoic, do the job, ignore everything. very goal orientated, play the objective. focus, go in do what needed and go out. no fluff, no talk no rubbish. probably slipped a bit but yeah i did get pushed alot so im holding out pretty well considering this place. slight weirdness creep in, like saying weird phrases constantly and shouting stuff, but its become a team meme where everyone shouts stuff and says weird phrases now so i still kinda look normal as its become a team weirdness/joke thing now lol

Reply
  • 8 months ago

    dunno.

    i dont think of masking, i guess what i think of is levels of comfort or familiarity.

    if im new to a place and unfamiliar i can just be quiet. if i stay there long enough and get familiar i can be weirder and push their weird boat out and not give much of a toss. maybe also my weirdness is perhaps a stress response instead and its not the length that i stay in the place but rather the stress of that place over time effecting me to make me act more stupid and care less about peoples opinions the more stressed i am there. who knows. could be one or the other. familiarity causing a change in persona or a rising stress and agitation of the place i have to be in....

    its likely a mix maybe...  as i remember my first job i changed to acting strange but that wasnt stressful.... but then it was boring and i had nothing to do so maybe that was a level of stress i wasnt aware of, the stress of boredom combined with a deep seated knowledge that i wouldnt last there as no one trusted me with any task so i was pointless and a waste of money and inevitably would be got rid of. so maybe that actually was a response to that. a drop, a no longer care what they think mode..... in high school i was destructively weird but that was very stressfull and one former student i knew guessed my weird responses were a sort of social anxiety automatic response while another guessed autism which i got offended at thinking they meant insult at the time.

    my current job is very stressful, i managed to stay pretty normal for a admirable amount of time. all the other workers on other shifts and drivers always asked others on my shift if i ever even talk. so thats the kind of normal lol stoic, do the job, ignore everything. very goal orientated, play the objective. focus, go in do what needed and go out. no fluff, no talk no rubbish. probably slipped a bit but yeah i did get pushed alot so im holding out pretty well considering this place. slight weirdness creep in, like saying weird phrases constantly and shouting stuff, but its become a team meme where everyone shouts stuff and says weird phrases now so i still kinda look normal as its become a team weirdness/joke thing now lol

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