Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I'm after some advice regarding my 20 year old son, who was diagnosed with ASD last year please. Like many others, he prefers comfortable clothing like joggers and soft jumpers and tops etc. He has favourites that he will wear day after day. He will put them out for washing eventually. He has some new clothes, equally comfy and will wear them but still prefers the old favourites. The main issue is, some of his joggers are not long enough and finish just above his ankles, and they look quite old. I have spoken to him about maybe getting some more new ones that fit but he doesn't see there being a problem. He feels comfy and that's all that matters. I notice people giving smirky looks when we are out sometimes and I just want to protect him from any negativity. He says it doesn't bother him. So really, I guess I'm wondering, do I just accept that he feels happy with how he looks and ignore others or do I try to explain how it looks, which I have been reluctant to, in too much detail, as I don't want him to feel self conscious. He's such a lovely young man and I just want the best for him. Thanks so much x
Empathising and identifying with your son a huge amount here...that's me too and I'm in my late 50s. I hate it when society demands I wear stuff I don't want. Dress rules are illogical and comfort matters.
Errr yeah, I'd say emphatically leave him alone with his comfy choices. Who cares how he looks? He doesn't for sure and why should he?
No need to explain anything to anyone. You are the one worrying what folk think, not him. In his place, I'd be right royally irritated with you if you attempted to explain to strangers my choices which are none of their business in the first place.
Sorry, that probably sounds a bit harsh. I don't mean to be. But the issue just isn't important to him, so truth is, it's not important at all.
He'll pick something else in his own time when he's grown to the extent the items become uncomfortable or they fall apart. I'd just provide a few alternatives for him to choose when that day comes.
Agreed - what Dawn says.