Published on 12, July, 2020
DSM-5 says that to meet the diagnostic criteria for ASD there must be persistent deficits in all three of the areas below.
So why is it some of us are completely alone and isolated while others seem to have friends, partners and active social lives?
How do people who meet the above criteria achieve this?
I learned it from a book, and from observation.
I think, for what it's worth, that you underestimate your innate presence and self.
That's very kind, but You've not met me in person, and I believe I write about life better than I live it.
In my case I realised at age 11 that I had a mental problem of some sort (even though my trick cyclist said I had not) so I started doing the book learning earlier than most.
I also benefitted hugely from a Christian moral education, and correctly identified my behaviour as unpleasant and self defeating, so by age 13 I was reading a bit of Jung, learning about how my subconcious and ego worked etc, and more importantly how to use the "features" of the human mind, rather than letting them use ME.
All book learning and a smattering of observational skills, anyone could do it, BUT My circumstances (I.E. BLIND LUCK) forced me down that path. Most f what I covered was not so helpful, so I've tried to distil what I know into simple ideas and workarounds, many of which I find others have discovered.
Of course, lacking the proper basic training, my approach has been like trying to drink water form a fountain, and I only know a few useful things, which I try to pass on.
An example being that I was FIRMLY living an incel life, until I boned up on how human social interactions actually work, (I'm not going to recommend that bloody book again, people must be sick of it by now) whilst learning the emotional side of "caring" by looking after my first cat. (after a couple of trial run of looking after other peoples cats)
Still took some years to make me in anyway desirable to the fair sex (other than for friendzone, free taxi service, domestic repairs which I traded for food, as I hate cooking, etc.).
I still make the occasional blunder and gaffe, or simply express my harder side at the wrong time, but I am able to do basic human psychological transactions rather better than people who've not worked to improve themselves.
There are aspects of Autism that can be very troublesome as we all know, and it's very, very easy to say "This is who I am folks, like it or lump it" but I try to save that for last, rather than leading with it.
The army taught me that you CAN exceed your limitations sometimes, (not always) and it's better to have a go than not to know.
EDIT *Note* despite all that psychological reading and the real and useful insights I did get, I still didn't know I had the Autismo until I hit 60..
I and those around me tend to see my own utility as more "Quid erat demonstadum"...
Your writing above, prompts me to say "Quod erat demonstrandom" my friend.