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Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction

Amerantin (former member)
8 months ago

DSM-5 says that to meet the diagnostic criteria for ASD there must be persistent deficits in all three of the areas below.

  1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.
  2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.
  3. Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.

So why is it some of us are completely alone and isolated while others seem to have friends, partners and active social lives?

How do people who meet the above criteria achieve this?

Parents
  • 8 months ago

    Try replacing the word "deficit" with "differece".

    Damien Milton's double empathy problem is relevant here. Autistic people relate and communicate differently. It's just that we don't always get others and they don't always get us.

    I have friends I've had for decades. Some of them are other autistic people or are AD(H)D ( who generally atune to me), or are wonderful neurotypical people who like being around someone who thinks differently.

    I was married, have a magnificent son (who communicates in much the same way I do), and a boy-friend on the same wave length (pretty sure he's ADHD). 

    I'm not deficient at all, I don't think. Just very different, which makes some relationships with some neurotypicals difficult or just exhausting, and other relationships easy, profound and fun.

    A lot of autistic people who are lonely or who become social phobe, just have not been lucky enough to meet with acceptance of themselves with all they have to offer and may have met with rejection a time or two too many.

  • 8 months ago in reply to Dawn
    Dawn said:

    Try replacing the word "deficit" with "differece".

    Damien Milton's double empathy problem is relevant here. Autistic people relate and communicate differently. It's just that we don't always get others and they don't always get

    Thank you very much for highlighting this! I have been trying to convey that same point in this discussion for what feels like a very long time!

    Dawn said:
    I have friends I've had for decades. Some of them are other autistic people or are AD(H)D ( who generally atune to me), or are wonderful neurotypical people who like being around someone who thinks differently.

    Absolutely! It’s about finding your tribe. I am so glad for you that you have found yours!

Reply
  • 8 months ago in reply to Dawn
    Dawn said:

    Try replacing the word "deficit" with "differece".

    Damien Milton's double empathy problem is relevant here. Autistic people relate and communicate differently. It's just that we don't always get others and they don't always get

    Thank you very much for highlighting this! I have been trying to convey that same point in this discussion for what feels like a very long time!

    Dawn said:
    I have friends I've had for decades. Some of them are other autistic people or are AD(H)D ( who generally atune to me), or are wonderful neurotypical people who like being around someone who thinks differently.

    Absolutely! It’s about finding your tribe. I am so glad for you that you have found yours!

Children
  • 8 months ago in reply to out_of_step

    Complements not supplements.

    I knew it didn't quite fit right.

    And on that pedantic note, goodnight all.

  • 8 months ago in reply to out_of_step

    That’s great that you have found connections online as have I and I really appreciate them.

    I also like online communities as written communication feels so much more natural to me than spoken.

    out_of_step said:
    but for a lot of people, this isn't the same as real human contact..

    Yes I completely understand that, there is no real substitute for in person human connection!

  • 8 months ago in reply to Ausomely Autistic

    I have found connections online in ways I never expected, and this supplements my real world contacts - I am lucky - but for a lot of people, this isn't the same as real human contact..  But yes this place is valuable. 

  • 8 months ago in reply to out_of_step
    out_of_step said:
    I think there is a degree of luck in finding your tribe.

    Absolutely!

    out_of_step said:
    It's so hard as many people want connection but can't get it through no fault of their own.

    Yes, that’s why online autistic communities like this one are so vitally important! Every human needs and deserves connection.

  • 8 months ago in reply to Ausomely Autistic

    I think there is a degree of luck in finding your tribe. Someone said earlier about environment,  upbringing etc - there are a lot of factors. I think it *might* be easier for women as we generally are "more sociable". (It all comes at a cost). I am aware of men - autistic and non autistic in their middle years and beyond, who don't have friends. It must be harder even still if you are autistic. It's so hard as many people want connection but can't get it through no fault of their own.