Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
I was diagnosed with autism 3 years ago as a 30 year old man and at that time I had a decent quality of life, a good job, a great social life and wonderful home life. However even with this life I ended up with quite severe depression which after a while resulted me in receiving the diagnosis of having autism. It’s obvious now that throughout my life I was continuously masking just to get through each day and to survive so to speak.
Now that I’m more aware about myself and allow myself to be truly me, I find it extremely difficult to be happy sometimes which may be the case for some of you also. I particularly find it difficult in gaining employment once again which is more suitable to my needs and also being social making friends who accept me for how I am and for who I am.
With this in mind I’m genuinely curious to see what is the biggest issue you find or struggle with as an autistic individual?
Thank you for taking to the time look at this and hoping your having a good day!
You are so welcome!
Digital crap, computers, phones, self service checkouts, they have all the malice of inanimate objects but taken to a higher level.
Thanks guys, you've explained to me now why the book I recommend in my bio was so transformative to me in my twenties.
It taught me effectively HOW and WHY small talk / socialisation is so important in life,
90%?
Is that an accurate statistic, or hyperbole?
Despite your setbacks and challenges it sounds like you're doing amazing you should be proud of yourself and the things you've achieved. I really wish I could work but so far it hasn't been possible.
Anything new. Compounded by brain damage, which makes it very hard for me to learn new processes. That's a disability in itself.
I try to maintain routines to help myself. Taking a job has been very challenging and adjustments have been made, particularly around new processes.
I struggle with so many aspects of daily life from being social to getting dressed. I seem to be inadequately prepared for any part of life. It's so depressing.
I find it difficult to give long explanations to people verbally, since it'll get confusing, I'll leave a few parts out, and all my thoughts would turn into a jumbled mess. Which is usually why I avoid explaining things to people.
Partly through my local adult autism group, but I guess I also have the advantage of being trans. 90%+ of the people I meet in trans spaces are autistic.
Tulip52 said:Also, perhaps, social interaction can be pointless and a waste of energy where as in a work setting there is a purpose?
Absolutely! (Unless you are socialising with other autistics!)
You are welcome!
The problem was had to change into PE kit during lunchtime. Also French class and straight into history class where I was writing most things in French. My timetable was a shambles.
Exactly, pointless interaction risks zapping our energy, so we maybe ptotecting our wellbeing. In a previous employment, we worked from home. My colleagues would regularly call each other for a chat. I didnt. I had to and or wanted to save my talking for the purpose of my job. There was no way i was putting myself under additional pressure to fit in. I didnt know i was autistic then.
Going back to the original question of the post, i want to work on my own, i want to do my job and be myself. The employer likely have a more productive employee x
Interesting that you should say this.
I think one of my problems is that if I don’t think there’s “anything in it for me” then I will conserve my energy, so pointless social chit chat with people I know will never become friends is really difficult. My brain just won’t supply the energy.
But it seems so much easier online.
Yes thank you that explains it.
Also, perhaps, social interaction can be pointless and a waste of energy where as in a work setting there is a purpose?
Tulip52 said:I havent a clue why this is.
Potentially scripted predictable interactions with fewer expectations than socialising?
Social interaction is my biggest issue which affects my well being in a negative way. Having said that, if i am in a work environment, talking with the public is easier to handle. I havent a clue why this is.
MrSolo said:No issues with making friends or socialising - I just hang out with other autistic people.
How did you find and connect with them?
My biggest problems are going out, interacting with others, working without meltdowns and burnout, and not obsessively worrying and having shutdown. This is the biggest hurdle in my life, one that unfortunately has followed me since school.
Interactions with services, such as the NHS, housing, utilities, etc. There seems to be zero flexibility in communication methods (no phone, no service) and no willingness to explain things in a different way for me or understand my needs. I also cannot for the life of me figure out how to verbally give information to a neurotypical person and have them record it accurately.
No issues with making friends or socialising - I just hang out with other autistic people.
All of it, at the moment.