Pretending to be normal

This is something that I definitely used to try to do a lot and it contributed a huge amount to my burnouts.

I still go through the cycles of burning out as I always have done, but find that I’m not so apologetic about being myself anymore which can sometime stave these moments off for a bit longer. If people don’t ‘get it’ so much, well that’s sort of up to them really. I don’t particularly mean that in such a combative way, but more in recognition that I used to put so much pressure on myself to manage the thoughts and feelings of others based on my own flawed guesswork that it used to be a huge contributor to my own burnouts.

The return to being a hermit for a bit whilst I rest and recuperate after prolonged periods of ‘successful’ social interaction is inevitable, but post diagnosis, I know why now and I’m okay with it! For me, that is most of the battle.

Slight edit due to self-doubt: The fact I had to add this edit is probably evidence to what I’m about to add. All of the above is not to say that I find any of this easy, but it is something I’m trying to learn for myself. I doubt myself all of the time, but I’m hoping with the discipline I’m trying to learn here, to advocate for myself a little more and at least place my own comfort on a similar level to the level I place the comfort of others.

Oakling said:

For me, that is most of the battle.

Agreed.

And welcome back CG Woodman !  Always a pleasure.

Oakling said:

For me, that is most of the battle.

Agreed.

And welcome back CG Woodman !  Always a pleasure.

I hear you.  I know us.  It's all cool, no matter which way you cut it.

Thanks for the warm welcome as always Number.

I think I have to accept that I will continue to have long stretches of silence on here even though I have been on here almost every day since my last post an age ago. Another point of reflection and learning.