Published on 12, July, 2020
This morning I sent off the additional questions I was required to fill in, to support my autism assessment form, that was sent off a few weeks ago. Waiting with bated breath now, to see if they will assess me. But I'm relieved that they've gone off.
I got to see today what my mental health practitioner had written about me. There were things in there that I wasn't aware of. Things she obviously had observed about me. Surprising, I'm okay with it, although a little shocked. She says all my paperwork screams autism. So fingers crossed.
I'm trying to stay positive.
Hi Inula,
No it isn't easy.
The main things coming up for me at the moment are
1) difficult memories and emotions. Processing with new understanding, why I acted the way I did at different times in my life.
2) Being very aware of my behaviours now.
3) Realising that I have fewer friends than I thought. That I'll probably be single for the rest of my life. I've already spent the last twenty plus years without a romantic relationship. This makes me sad. I may get a pet.
4) I was so certain of my career path and now I'm not.
On the plus side, I now give myself permission to do the things that I need to do that help me, and without shame. I am kinder to myself.
Yes, we will get there
Not easy is it? Trying to work out who you are after a lifetime of being somebody else!
I'm 6 months or so in from official diagnosis. Initially I was elated to get the news because I've always been really hard on myself for failing to have (or keep) friends and failing to have a great career (did well at exams but somehow could never quite transfer what I knew to a work environment)
Recently I've been grieving who I could have been now I know I'm not who I thought I was. After 62 years it's difficult reconciling old me with new me but we will get there.
Inula
Thanks for your message. Yes it's an NHS one. I have to wait and see if they will accept me first.
If they do, I've been told the wait time is around 2 years. Going private is an option, the wait time would be a couple of months or so, and around £2,000.
But to be honest I need to get my head this. I'm 53 years old, and I only discovered just over a month ago that I'm Autistic. Whilst being very liberating, i'm processing more than half a century oftuff. I'm trying to work out who I really am, and what kind of future I'd like.
Thank you
Hi Justbe
Hopefully your assessment will go ahead very soon. Is this an NHS one? I'm so impatient I didn't go down that route and paid for a private assessment. I think during the wait time I would have driven myself nuts with imposter syndrome!
Keep us updated :)
Hi Justbe, well done on sending off the completed form! We hope you can get your assessment soon.
Best wishes,
Anna Mod