Autism stopping me from volunteering... Oh autism, why art thou so cruel?

I couldn't find a work/career section so decided to put this in Autistic Adults, apologies in advance if this is the wrong place.

I've been volunteering this year after a break since late 2020. I got my first job in 2020 and then proceeded to have a terrible breakdown. My breakdown affected me mentally and then following a family death I was detained and was trapped in a mental health unit for a lot longer than I'd hoped.

Since then life has improved more than I thought possible.

I've been gradually making small improvements in my life. I go out daily, sometimes to town, other times just to the park. So long as I go out I'm achieving my daily goal. I bought myself an inspirational quotes set which I read one every day to 'inspire' myself and give me that extra nudge of enthusiasm and strength.

Now I'm feeling better I took the Big step in November and started volunteering. I decided to volunteer at the local library as it's a peaceful environment, somewhere I'm familiar with - I used to spend my afternoon there after school - and the lights are beautifully dim, kinder to my eyes... It's the perfect environment for me and there's very little social interaction required. Most people know what books they want and where they are...

Sometimes I'll get curious people asking facts. I had a 12 year old boy last week asking about the history of the library itself - unexpected, but luckily I already studied the history of every building in my town and the library was one of them! 

Luckily for him I was able to oblige and share this info with him. The look on his face after all my library history info dumping told me he probably regretted asking lol  

Poor kid! 

I'm signed off from working now. My mental health nurse said volunteering twice a week for a couple of hours, which is exactly what I'm doing but I feel tired and have since stopped again because the people and change of my normal routine was too much.

Lately I've been at home listening to Christmas music, playing Lego, watching films... I wish I could volunteer though but I get so tired and so anxious and it's burning me out.

My mental health nurse says in a couple of months it might be different but I'm just so frustrated with myself because I really had hoped I was getting somewhere.

Autism is a weird thing. You feel like you've taken a step forward but it turns out to be ten back...