Published on 12, July, 2020
One of the biggest difficulties I have is monotropic thoughts and when I'm feeling overloaded it's harder to deal with. It's absolutely useless thinking but I can't stop. I've noticed these thoughts offer a degree of certainty. Not about the situation itself but for my own head. As in, it knows what it's going to be thinking about.
What I've been faced with in the past is very unexpected change in direction and then my brain doesn't know what to do with itself. I've had slight experience of that recently which has been a welcome break but also left me feeling off.
I meditate every day. I take supplements. I accept the fact it's how my brain is. I allow it to wander freely where it wants to and understand "thoughts are just thoughts". It's not going to run out of steam of its own accord. I've faced the nature of these thoughts time and again through life. Now I know what's going on it doesn't help except I feel less confused. Ive read other threads and know there's other people like this. I try to keep myself busy but other health matters impede on this.
I'll probably delete this after I've posted it like I always do. There's nothing anyone can do I just needed to get it off my chest.
I have found that the off switch only comes when I drink alcohol. When you say “off switch” I assume you mean the slow down signal in the brain rather than suicide because suicide is a bad idea. I take supplements also and meds. I think they help.
Yes I mean a slowdown signal. I've said before, it's this sense of needing no input - auditory, visual, thoughts, which you only get when you're asleep but you aren't aware of it at the time. Meditation definitely helps. It is much calmer today, I think it was a combination of factors, poor sleep and on reflection, a challenging few days. I knew at the time it would pass but sometimes in the head its almost like a physical feeling. I think alcohol makes the off switch harder to find overall, especially the morning after, but that might just be me.