Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I'm mum and I'm allistic and my son is autistic. We had a Frank and sobering conversation today which shocked and saddened me but I'm glad in a way as I'm glad my son was honest with me..he told me in not so many words he'd rather not be alive due to his Autism as in life the one things he feels that matters the most is the emotional side of things which he can't have ie he was upset that he can't even experience those loving interactions that most neuro typical people take for granted..he basically feels very alone. I feel very sad for him and its frustrating as a mum who loves him very much that there is nothing I can do for him. So this is why I have come on here to ask the question of ..is there happiness to be had in this life when you have Autism? He works hard at fending off the depression that he feels as a result of Autism (ie not clinical depression) he exercises as he says that helps his mental state and he tries to eat right and he has stopped drinking alcohol all together. He doesn't feel enthusiastic about getting outside and doing anything as he says it won't make him any happier if he does interact with people even if he took meds to deal with anxiety etc he doesn't see the point.
Autists tend to be motivated by their interests. If your son doesn't have these currently it can make life fairly empty and meaningless. It can be a case of trying lots of things and doing lots of research until he finds that spark, something he is passionate about that makes life worthwhile.
NAS83342 said:He doesn't feel enthusiastic about getting outside and doing anything as he says it won't make him any happier if he does interact with people even if he took meds to deal with anxiety etc he doesn't see the point.
Personally I would much rather spend many hours hyper-focusing on something that interests me than be bored senseless in a social setting. Most of the interactions I have observed do seem superficial and pointless. Meds might deal with anxiety or they might not (they don't help for many autists) however ultimately he probably won't get the enjoyment out of interacting with people.
Life is much harder as an autistic person in this world, there's no denying that. There will be a lot more struggles than most allistic will ever have. However it isn't all bad and some do achieve happiness at least some of the time.
If he does want to form connections you could look to see if there is a local group for autistic adults in your area. Also point him in the direction of this forum as there is a good community on here.