Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I'm mum and I'm allistic and my son is autistic. We had a Frank and sobering conversation today which shocked and saddened me but I'm glad in a way as I'm glad my son was honest with me..he told me in not so many words he'd rather not be alive due to his Autism as in life the one things he feels that matters the most is the emotional side of things which he can't have ie he was upset that he can't even experience those loving interactions that most neuro typical people take for granted..he basically feels very alone. I feel very sad for him and its frustrating as a mum who loves him very much that there is nothing I can do for him. So this is why I have come on here to ask the question of ..is there happiness to be had in this life when you have Autism? He works hard at fending off the depression that he feels as a result of Autism (ie not clinical depression) he exercises as he says that helps his mental state and he tries to eat right and he has stopped drinking alcohol all together. He doesn't feel enthusiastic about getting outside and doing anything as he says it won't make him any happier if he does interact with people even if he took meds to deal with anxiety etc he doesn't see the point.
Yes. The way being autistic affects each person is very individual. I would say that my natural state is a slightly low mood, lower than most allistics, but I'm used to it and it does not weigh on me. I also have periods of intense joy. Though I did not realise I was autistic, and subsequently sought diagnosis, until my late 50s, I realised that there was something not quite right with my communication with other people, particularly my seeming inability to form romantic connections. I did something about it, I researched non-verbal communication and became reasonably adept at it at an intellectual level, to overcome my lack of allistic subconscious abilities. I forced myself to be emotionally available and vulnerable and take risks, not easy. As a result I eventually made an enduring romantic connection and was married. I have two adult children, one autistic, the other with ADHD; they are both intelligent and talented - both have first class degrees. I had a long career in biomedical research and have a PhD in molecular biology. All in all I have had a fulfilling and reasonably contented life.