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How to get my boyfriend who has been single all his life to get used to being with me.

Rach91
9 months ago

Hi my name is Rachel and I’m 32 and I have ASD. I am dating a guy who is 42 who is also on the spectrum but the issue is he has never had a girlfriend whereas I have been in a relationship twice before. My boyfriend really struggles being with me he has feelings for me and he wants to be in a relationship with me but he is so used to single life he struggles to accept that he is in relationship. He says he really not used to it and is afraid he won’t be able to cope. How can I reassure him that it will get easier and to help him with such a big change in his life? I know things can work out well between us he is such a great person but it’s just getting him used to being in a relationship with me sometimes causes issues. How can we both overcome this? 

Parents
  • 9 months ago

    OMG, this takes me back to when I was that boyfriend, and worse had no idea that I was on the spectrum.

    I'd like to tell him it's all going to be fine, but in truth it is HARD to make the adjustments from living on your own, to living with someone else, and if you are Autistic, even harder.

    I had to give up a great deal of my personal power and ability to direct my own life, whilst simultaneously grappling with the skills required to simply get along with (and hopefully make happy) another person). 

    BUT it IS doable, and you both sound like you are committed to each other, and learning how to live and love is ALWAYS worth the candle, so good luck to you.

Reply
  • 9 months ago

    OMG, this takes me back to when I was that boyfriend, and worse had no idea that I was on the spectrum.

    I'd like to tell him it's all going to be fine, but in truth it is HARD to make the adjustments from living on your own, to living with someone else, and if you are Autistic, even harder.

    I had to give up a great deal of my personal power and ability to direct my own life, whilst simultaneously grappling with the skills required to simply get along with (and hopefully make happy) another person). 

    BUT it IS doable, and you both sound like you are committed to each other, and learning how to live and love is ALWAYS worth the candle, so good luck to you.

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