Published on 12, July, 2020
for years now, ever since i can remember, I have written my thoughts down. I have a special notebook & i used to meditate especially before bed as i struggle with sleep. If i feel anxious I can’t sleep & sometimes writing is the only thing that helps. I don’t get the comfort i should get & i struggle with that. Does anyone else feel like this? I know it is hard for others to understand me, how i feel etc but sometimes i wish they would try harder. I only just found out that autism is actually a disibility. Sorry didn’t spell that right. Feel like my whole life i have been apologising for who i am, just coz i am different. I don’t know anyone else who is autistic so sometimes this forum is the only thing that helps.
also feeling emotional when people don’t understand me. People think i am being ‘silly’ or ‘pathetic’ or ‘weird’
thank you and sorry it is so long!
I think its good that you write diwn your feelings. I have heard that this helps to release how we feel. I too feel like i dont get the comfort that i need. I have found things to help with this, like my cuddly toy to cuddle in bed and the smell of one of my mums clothing items. I find relaxing music comforting and nice smells. Do you still meditate?
People dont understand. I have started talking about being autistic. By peoples response i discover who "gets it" and who doesn't. If they dont get it then i will leave it there. Some people i feel think i am silly or a nightmare. I am at the point now where i dont care so much about what people think of me. I remind myself that i am a good person and worth knowing. I hope you can build your confidence and be proud of who you are x
I dont exactly write my thoughts down, but throughout the day I think of how id type up a post of what is happening right now on the forum. I ussually dont actually type them since it would be wayyy too many posts that they probably ban me
Sometimes when im trying to explain something but nobody understands or they think im being dramatic then I can start having a fit and cry if it goes on long enough (sometimes it turns into a meltdown)